How to get on with people at work

How to get on with people at work

Advice from Wendy Smith.  Wendy is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career.  You can book a FREE coaching session or find out more at this link

How to get on with people at work
Few of us like everyone

How to get on with people at work –  getting on with people is important in all parts of your life. It is very important at work.

One the hardest lessons we have to learn in life, is that we will meet people who don’t like us. Sometimes this will be for reasons that we understand.  But sometimes, it won’t! And, of course, sometimes we may find ourselves not liking someone and it may be very hard to know why.

How we respond depends very much on the circumstances.

For example, imagine yourself sitting next to someone on a plane for a journey that lasts an hour. It make very little difference whether you like each other or not.  Very soon you will part, never to meet again. But, suppose the person you can’t get on with has a much more significant role in in your life. Suppose the person you are having difficulties with is your new boss, a colleague or an employee. Not knowing how to get on with people at work matters. It matters a lot! So what can you do about it?

How to get on with people at work

First, if you are dealing with your own feelings of dislike, try to work out why you feel like that.  What is it about this person that you find so difficult?  Take some time to think about the issue.  Is it how they look? Is it something they have said or done? Sometimes, we dislike those who remind us of people or experiences in our own past. Take time to reflect and then be completely honest with yourself. Honesty with yourself really matters here.

If you have a sense of mistrust, then try to work out why? Is there any evidence to support how you feel?

Be very honest about your own prejudices. If the way you feel is about their race, their age or their sexual persuasion or their disability, then you have some hard work to do. This problem is yours to resolve, not theirs, and you cannot ignore it!

When you have feelings of dislike, start to work on valuing the individual and the contribution they make. Think about the good things about them. There will be something if you look hard enough.

If the issue is to do with your bad memories, then don’t be afraid to seek the help of a coach or counsellor. If the real problem is your own prejudice then again seek out support from a trainer or coach. Be honest and brave enough to seek help. You will lead a much happier and more fulfilling life without that issue.

If someone dislikes you, then again, see if you can work out why. Try to put things right. How much impact they have on you depends on their role in your life.

When the problem is the boss

If the person is the boss, for example, a new boss; you may have to take your confidence in both hands and start a discussion. Be prepared to hear some criticism and respond positively to it.  Try to make sure the boss really does understand how you are contributing to the work. Then work hard to turn yourself into an asset – share you knowledge with your boss.

Above all, keep the lines of communication open.  Never fight with the boss!  Find the middle ground. At the end of the day, though, if you really can’t get on, consider a move. Fighting the boss is rarely successful and generally leads to misery.

How to get on with people at work – is the problem a colleague?

If the problem is with a colleague or an employee,again work hard to find out why you don’t get on. Talk to them and try to get to know them better. Then find the middle ground. Be scrupulously fair in your dealings with them. At the end of the day, have a professional approach and focus on the work. That way you should be able to find a way to work together even though you may not be best buddies.

How to get on with people at work – you don’t owe those you work with undying affection. Nor do they owe that to you.  But you do owe them a fair chance to do their work well and a fair hearing if they have a problem.  You should be able to expect the same in return.

If you need advice on a relationship at home or at work, then get in touch with me. I can help.

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

Working With a New Boss

Working With a New Boss

Working With a New Boss

Working with a new boss can be a challenge, But here are some tips to help you prepare,

Rumours fill a vacuum

Before a new boss arrives you may here all kinds of rumours about them, some good and some perhaps worrying. Stay calm but keep your wits about you till you have some real news. Once you have a name for your new boss, do your own research. Find out as much as possible about them but stay in a neutral space. Don’t add to the rumor mill and don’t assume that reputations are always justified. Give your new boss a chance.

Give the new boss some space 

When the new boss arrives, give them time and space to settle in. Don’t rush to be the first to make a good impression – there will be lots of people doing  just that.  But be courteous and welcoming – be optimistic.  Do your job as well as you can. 

Help when it is needed

 Show you are willing to help and support when your new boss needs help.  Make it clear you are happy to share your knowledge of the organization and to make introductions. Accept that your new boss will have their own way of doing things. And too much “this is how we do things here” from you, will really irritate.

Be authentic 

Be yourself with the new boss and don’t pretend to know more than you do.  If they ask a question you can’t answer, then offer to go and find out. Don’t bluff. If they are any good they will see straight through it. Above all, don’t pretend to be someone in the organization that you are not. Pretending to be on first name terms with the CEO can rebound on you. 

An opportunity to make a fresh start

Most new bosses will have made some inquiries about key people in their new team.  But there is probably still a chance to make a fresh start.  As you get to know your new boss, take the opportunity to make a positive impression.  Show how good you are. And, when the new boss has settled in, make sure they know how interested you are in your own career.

What about new bosses who want to bring in new teams?

Some new bosses do prefer to bring in new teams. In your research before the new boss arrives, you may be able to find out if this so. Have done in the past?  If so, do all the things, I’ve suggested above. Give your new boss an opportunity to see how valuable and how flexible you can be.  Show them that you can adapt to the new situation. But be realistic – brush up your CV and keep an eye open for other possibilities. Make sure you line-up your old boss up to give you a glowing reference.

Working with a new boss – accept the new situation

Accept that change happens.  Things cannot stay the same, so accept that with grace.  You may be sorry to see your old boss go. But the future is full of new possibilities.  Do your best to make the most of the opportunity..

You will benefit from the support of a coach in dealing with your change.  My email address is below.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Getting On With People At Work!

Getting On With People At Work!

Managing Your Career – Getting On With People At Work!

Getting on with people! One the hardest lessons we have to learn in life, is that we will meet people who don’t like us.

Sometimes this will be for reasons that we understand.  But sometimes it won’t! And, of course, sometimes we may find ourselves not liking someone and it may be very hard to know why.

How we respond depends very much on the circumstances.

If you find yourself, for example, sitting next to someone on a plane for a journey that lasts an hour, it make very little difference whether you like each other or not. But when the person you are having difficulties with is your new boss, a colleague or an employee, that does matters. It matters a lot!

First, if you are dealing with your own feelings of dislike, try to work out why you feel like that.  What is it about this person that you find difficult?  Take some time to think about the issue.  Is it how they look? Is it something they have said or done? Sometimes, we dislike those who remind us of people or experiences in our own past. Take time to reflect and then be completely honest with yourself.

If you have a sense of mistrust, then try to work out why? Is there any evidence to support how you feel?

Be very honest about your own prejudices. If the way you feel is about their race, their age or their sexual persuasion, then you have some really hard work to do. This problem is yours to resolve, not theirs.

When you have feelings of dislike, work on valuing the individual and the contribution they make.

If the issue is to do with bad memories, seek the help of a coach or counsellor.

If it is about prejudice then again seek out support from a trainer or coach if you are serious about your career. Be honest and brave enough to seek help.

If someone dislikes you, then again, see if you can work out why and try to put things right.  If the person is, for example, a new boss, then you may have to take your confidence in both hands and ask for an explanation.  Try to make sure the boss really does understand how you are contributing to the work and be prepared to share your knowledge and, on occasion, your contacts.  In other words turn yourself into an asset.

Above all keep the lines of communication open.  Never fight with the boss! At the end of the day, it really is better to move on, if you can’t find the middle ground.

If the problem is with a colleague or an employee again work hard to find out why and then find the middle ground, while being scrupulously fair. At the end of the day, with a professional approach you should be able to find a way to work together even though you may not be best buddies.

Getting on with people at work is important. You don’t owe those you work with undying affection, nor do they owe that to you.  But you do owe them a fair chance to do their work well and a fair hearing if they have a problem.  You should be able to expect the same in return.

Wendy Mason is the The Career Coach – helping you to find fresh perspectives on your Job Search and Career. She helps you work towards your goals and aspirations, in a way that fits in with both work and home life. Email her at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com,  find her on Skype at wendymason14, or call +44 (0) 2081239146 (02081239146 for UK callers) or +1 262 317 9016 if you are in the US.

A free trial/consultation allows you to try phone coaching from the comfort of your own home and without risk. Don’t forget to ask about the Summer Special Offer 

 

Career Development – Dealing With a New Boss

New BOSS logo Family and MWR Command 101104
Photo credit: familymwr

Career Development – Dealing With a New Boss

So there you are, happy in your job and doing quite well. You get on well with your boss and he/she thinks well of you and advocates for you with top management.  You couldn’t ask for much more really.

Then one day you get the news.  Your boss is moving on to set up a new division on the other side of the world in two week’s time.

You feel devastated and you start worry.  What will the new boss be like and who will it be?  The rumors start and they are never very positive are they? “That tough manager from finance is coming” or “They are going to take the opportunity to make cuts.” 

Stay Neutral But Prepare

You know the rumors are just that – this is nature filling a vacuum.

Stay calm but keep your wits about you till you have some real news.  If you can help your present boss to tie up the loose ends before departure do so – it will make life easier later.  See what you can find out about a possible successor and when you have a name, do your research.

Find out as much as possible about them but stay in a neutral space. Don’t add to the rumor mill and don’t assume that reputations are always justified – give your new boss a chance. But accept that this will be a time of change – let the past go with gratitude, rather than regrets. 

Give the new boss some space 

When the new boss arrives, give them time and space to settle in.  Don’t rush to be the first to make a good impression – there will be lots of people doing that.  But be courteous and welcoming – be optimistic.  Do your job as well as you can. 

Help when it is needed

 Show you are willing to help and support when it is needed.  Make it clear you are happy to share your knowledge of the organization and to make introductions. But accept that your new boss will have their own way of doing things and too much “this is how we do things here” from you, will really irritate.

Be authentic – don’t pretend to know more than you do or be more than you are!

 Be yourself with the new boss and don’t pretend to know more than you do.  If the boss asks a question you can’t answer, then offer to go and find out – don’t bluff, if they are any good they will see straight through it. Above all, don’t pretend to be someone in the organization that you are not – pretending to be on first name terms with the CEO can rebound on you. 

Take the opportunity to rebuild your professional image 

Most new bosses will have made enquiries about key people in their new team.  But this is still to some extent a chance to make a fresh start.  As you get to know your new boss, take the opportunity to make a new and positive impression.  Show how good you are and, when the new boss is settled in, make sure they know how interested you are in your own career.

What about new bosses who want to bring in new teams?

It is a fact of life that some new bosses prefer to bring in new teams. In your research before the new boss arrives, you may be able to find out if this is what they have done in the past.  If so, be prepared!

Do all the things, I’ve suggested above and give your new boss an opportunity to see how valuable and how flexible you are.  Show them that you can adapt to the new situation. But at the same time brush up your CV and keep an eye open for other possibilities.  Make sure you line-up your old boss up to give you a glowing reference.

If your new boss does want to make a complete change but sees how valuable you are, you might at the very least get their support in finding something new. You might be surprised by a request that you stay!

Accept life as it is now and make the best of it!

Accept that change is happening.  Things cannot stay the same, so accept the change with grace.  You will be sorry to see your boss go.  But the future is full of new possibilities.  Do your best to make the most of the opportunity.

If you have tips for dealing with new bosses, please share them here.

If you need the support of a coach in dealing with your change, please get in touch.  My email address is below.

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have theconfidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason @wisewolfcoaching.com