People at work – how to deal with difficult people – stay neutral!

People at work – how to deal with difficult people – stay neutral!

We all meet difficult people at work and in our private lives.  Dealing with difficult people is a subject that seems to generate more interest than anything else, here and at my other blog, WiseWolf’s Your Happiness Factor.  So I’m making no apologies for posting about this again.

Difficult people can do more than make us unhappy.  As if that isn’t bad enough, difficult people can be bad for your health.  If you let them stress you out, that can lead to physical and the psychological problems.

If we meet difficult people in the workplace and they are work colleagues, the stress is on-going.  Even if you are the manager of a difficult person, it can take a toll.  And, if the “difficult person” is your boss, the stress can be almost intolerable. I’m not talking here about a bullying boss; just someone who is difficult to work with.

This video discusses how it is important to stay calm, stay in a neutral space and stay assertive. Try not to let them engage your emotions – you can use visualization to help do this. Accept that all you can control is how you react.

And, yes, it often helps to work with a coach.

You might find this  other post about learning from difficult people useful too.

This video from http://www.howdini.com/howdini-video-… Mary Bolster, editor of Natural Health Magazine, has some excellent reminders to help you deal with the difficult people in your life.

Wendy Mason is the Happiness Coach and author of a new novel, The Wolf Project Wendy is a life and career coach and writer. She is passionate about helping people find happiness at work and at home! She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  She believes coaching requires compassion, warmth and empathy. Wendy helps people reach their career goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

CV review and interview preparation a speciality

  • Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Tuesday Quotes:Management:Encourage Your Staff
  • Happiness at Work – Becoming Indispensable

Difficult people – learning from them

Difficult people – learning from them

Thoughts for managers – learning from difficult people!

Difficult people – counsellor and trainer Susan Fee shares three lessons difficult people can teach us.

Difficult people

As managers, we need to think about what we can learn from those we manage.  But we still have to be very practical and make sure that we reconcile caring for the needs of the team, and meeting their needs, with meeting the aims of the organization.  That reconciliation is at the heart of what we do as managers.

Wendy Mason is the Happiness Coach and author of a new novel, The Wolf Project.  Wendy is a life and career coach and writer. She is passionate about helping people find happiness at work and at home! She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  She believes coaching requires compassion, warmth and empathy. Wendy helps people reach their career goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

CV review and interview preparation a speciality

  • Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Tuesday Quotes:Management:Encourage Your Staff
  • Happiness at Work – Becoming Indispensable

Thoughts for managers – learning from difficult people!

Thoughts for managers – learning from difficult people!

Counselor and trainer Susan Fee shares three lessons difficult people can teach us.

As managers, we need to think about what we can learn from those we manage.  But we still have to be very practical and make sure that we reconcile caring for the needs of the team, and meeting their needs, with meeting the aims of the organization.  That reconciliation is at the heart of what we do as managers.

Wendy Mason is the Happiness Coach and author of a new novel, The Wolf Project.  Wendy is a life and career coach and writer. She is passionate about helping people find happiness at work and at home! She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  She believes coaching requires compassion, warmth and empathy. Wendy helps people reach their career goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

CV review and interview preparation a speciality

  • Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Tuesday Quotes:Management:Encourage Your Staff
  • Happiness at Work – Becoming Indispensable

Managing People – The Dangers of Having Favorites!

Managing People – The Dangers of Having Favorites!

Many, many years moons ago, I worked with children.  They were boys between the ages of seven and eleven and, for me, at the most interesting stage in their development.  I saw them gaining in awareness and personality with views of their own pretty much everything.  It was tempting to spend time with a particular child that you liked, at the expense of a child that really needed your attention. Sometime later I found the same thing could happen in nursing – that patient who was so appealing might be lavished with greater care. Favoring a particular patient or a particular child would have been, at the very least, unprofessional and if you think about it could lead to harm.

As a manager showing that you have favorites can also have quite disastrous consequences. Now, I don’t mean that excellence, high performance and value to the organization should not be recognized and rewarded.  But as valuable as one person might be, an organization cannot succeed in meeting its goals without the full cooperation and collaboration of all its members. Taken to extremes a manager who falls in to the favorites’ trap can be accused not of favoritism, but of discrimination between employees with potential legal consequences.  If people believe they do not all have the same chance of gaining a reward, they switch off and become de-motivated.  They need to know that everyone plays by the same rules and is judged in the same way.

There may be particular risks when a manger is newly promoted from within a work group.  Friendships can be maintained but they need to be kept for outside the workplace.  It is a good idea to discuss this with the friend and agree from the outset that you will both make it clear that, in fairness to others, no special benefits come from the friendship. The same thing goes for people that you did not get on with particularly well. It may be worth having a conversation to clear the air and to make sure that people understand you will be making a fresh start.

Wendy Mason is a career coach.  She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  Before working as a coach, Wendy had a long career in both the public and private sectors in general management and consultancy as well as spells in HR.  She now divides her time between coaching and writing. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

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Managing difficult people

Managing difficult people

Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees

Managing difficult people – Most people you manage will be good and willing employees.  They are anxious to learn, to do their best and to get on well with their colleagues. But every manager finds themselves dealing with someone who is little difficult, at some point in their career.  For one reason or another, and it is good to find out why, this particular person is a problem.

There are ways to handle problem employees that reduce stress and minimize their taxing effect.  If you follow this plan, you should be able to deal with them quickly and contain the collateral damage they tend to create.

What you need to do is flip!

  • Flip the focus!
  • Flip the strategy.

Stop trying to change people and start trying to create an opportunity for them to change themselves, if they decide it is in their best interests to do so. This way business continues as usual while the problem employee makes a choice as to whether he or she wants to jump on board – or jump off.

This approach is clean and easy without lots of hassle. You don’t waste the time you need to invest in the rest of the business to produce a positive return.  The new approach can help you generate a healthy, low-maintenance, low-drama environment, which is better for everyone.

Here is the five step plan;

Step 1 Paint a picture that illustrates exactly what you expect and make sure the person understands that picture.

Step 2 Set-out clearly what is acceptable and what is not.  Use terms that are specific about the kinds of behavior that will not be tolerated.

Step 3 Explain what will happen when, and if, there is a recurrence of the bad behavior (talk to your HR department if you are unclear about the formal disciplinary procedure in your work place).

Step 4 Step back and give the individual a real opportunity to behave differently.

Step 5 Follow-up and follow through.  If the person responds well, then reward with praise.  If not, then follow-up exactly as you described in Step 3. If you don’t, you send a mixed message and the situation may become worse than before.

Always give the person an opportunity to explain why they have behaved badly – listen carefully to what they say. If there are extenuating circumstances, take them into account. Be firm but be fair and treat all your employees, including this one, with respect.

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees

Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees

Most people you manage will be good and willing employees.  They are anxious to learn, to do their best and to get on well with their colleagues. But every manager finds themselves dealing with someone who is little difficult, at some point in their career.  For one reason or another, and it is good to find out why, this particular person is a problem.

There are ways to handle problem employees that reduce stress and minimize their taxing effect.  If you follow this plan, you should be able to deal with them quickly and contain the collateral damage they tend to create.

What you need to do is flip!

  • Flip the focus!
  • Flip the strategy.

Stop trying to change people and start trying to create an opportunity for them to change themselves, if they decide it is in their best interests to do so. This way business continues as usual while the problem employee makes a choice as to whether he or she wants to jump on board – or jump off.

This approach is clean and easy without lots of hassle. You don’t waste the time you need to invest in the rest of the business to produce a positive return.  The new approach can help you generate a healthy, low-maintenance, low-drama environment, which is better for everyone.

Here is the five step plan;

Step 1 Paint a picture that illustrates exactly what you expect and make sure the person understands that picture.

Step 2 Set-out clearly what is acceptable and what is not.  Use terms that are specific about the kinds of behavior that will not be tolerated.

Step 3 Explain what will happen when, and if, there is a recurrence of the bad behavior (talk to your HR department if you are unclear about the formal disciplinary procedure in your work place).

Step 4 Step back and give the individual a real opportunity to behave differently.

Step 5 Follow-up and follow through.  If the person responds well, then reward with praise.  If not, then follow-up exactly as you described in Step 3. If you don’t, you send a mixed message and the situation may become worse than before.

Always give the person an opportunity to explain why they have behaved badly – listen carefully to what they say. If there are extenuating circumstances, take them into account. Be firm but be fair and treat all your employees, including this one, with respect.

Wendy Mason is a career coach.  She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  Before working as a coach, Wendy had a long career in both the public and private sectors in general management and consultancy as well as spells in HR.  She now divides her time between coaching and writing. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

Managing People – Contracts of employment take a great deal of thought

Managing People – Contracts of employment take a great deal of thought

Following on from yesterday’s post about the Psychological Contract, Annabel Kaye,  Irenicon – employment law in a mad world, thought you would find this video useful. It is about how employers make life so much tougher for themselves than it needs to be by using another organization’s contracts. And Annabel is right, many employers do not understand how important the right contract is  in setting up good performance management and employee relations for the future. One size really does not fit all, better to reflect the spirit of that organization’s particular psychological contract.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Leadership – The Psychological Contract At Work

Work – Psychological contract

Leadership – The Psychological Contract At Work

This post discusses the theory of psychological contracts in the workplace and in the wider world outside work.

‘The Psychological Contract’ is increasingly relevant in workplace relationships.

The idea of Psychological Contract first emerged in the 1960s and it was widely discussed, particularly in the work of organizational and behavioral theorists Chris Argyris and Edgar Schein.

Many other experts have contributed ideas on the subject since then, and they continue to do so, either specifically focusing on the Psychological Contract, or approaching it from a particular or new perspective.   The Psychological Contract means many things to different people – it is open to a range of interpretations and theoretical studies.

Usually, the Psychological Contract refers to the relationship between an employer and their employees, and it relates to their concerns and their mutual expectations of that relationship, in terms of what each will put in and receive.

The Psychological Contract is usually seen from the standpoint or expectations of employees, although to understand it properly means you need to see it from both sides.

At its simplest, at work, the Psychological Contract is about fairness or balance. What can reasonably be expected! How will the employee be treated by the employer?  What will the employee put into the job? What will be the reward?

The closer you look at the real nature of the contract in any particular organization, the more complicated it becomes; there will be  unwritten “rules” and “expectations” on both sides.

The whole thing becomes more complicated when the organization is in change or when the outside environment intrudes – such as in times of recession when the employer’s ability to reward may be limited.

Of course, the theory and principles of the Psychological Contract can also be applied beyond the employment situation to human relationships, wider society and certainly in the world of politics between leaders and those led.

The concept of the Psychological Contract is still continuing to develop and it certainly is not recognized in all organizations.  It is even less well understood in the world outside work.

But respect, compassion, trust, empathy, fairness and objectivity – qualities that characterize the Psychological Contract, are worth the regard and respect of all of us, inside work and out.

contract

Management – Dan Pink: The puzzle of motivation

Management – Dan Pink: The puzzle of motivation

Career analyst Dan Pink examines the puzzle of motivation, starting with a fact that social scientists know but most managers don’t: Traditional rewards aren’t always as effective as we think. Listen for illuminating stories — and maybe, a way forward.

Bidding adieu to his last “real job” as Al Gore’s speechwriter, Dan Pink went freelance to spark a right-brain revolution in the career marketplace

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Be A Better Manager – Knowing How To Delegate

Being A Better Manager – Knowing How To Delegate

Do you really know how to delegate? I bet you say you do! But I wonder?

Knowing when, and what, to delegate does help. It should not just be about feeling you’ve got too much to do and you just need to pass something (anything) from your in-tray on to someone else.

When you delegate what you delegate should meet two criteria;

  1. It must lighten your load and free you up to concentrate on what is important for you to do at your level, with your particular skills.
  2. It should help the receiver to learn and grow.

You should give the receiver the authority they need to complete the task just as if you had done it yourself. Of course, you give them only the authority necessary for their work and to complete the task as you would. You need to have a care about this; particularly where budgets are concerned.

Remember, though, that when you delegate, the responsibility remains with you. You need to make sure they have the training they need to do the job and you need to think about how they will be supervised. There needs to be space for them to do the task in their own way, but you need to ensure they understand, and will meet, any necessary standards. Most importantly, you (and they) need to be clear about how you will measure the results.

Then, you need to give them time to practice and you need to accept that when they start, they won’t do the job as well as you.

They will need to know who they can go to for help, if they have a problem.

When you know how to delegate properly, you will have established an opportunity for real personal development for your team. And they will be better motivated as a result. On top of that, you will have more time to concentrate on the work that really requires your input – a win-win situation, all round.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

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