How to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague

How to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague

Dealing with Difficult People – Three ways to deal with a passive-aggressive colleague

Advice from Wendy Smith. Wendy is a Career and Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on life and your career.  You can book a FREE coaching session or find out more at this link

Realising you need to deal with a passive-aggressive colleague can make you feel uncomfortable. It can be very frustrating when someone you work with agrees with a plan of action and then goes off to do their own thing. Or you sense that someone really doesn’t agree with what you just said but they say nothing. Sometimes they just make you feel subtly undermined.

Passive aggression can have a number of results including eroding confidence and not being good for harmony in the team.  But it is frequent and it can mean that you do not achieve your own goals. When you have to deal with someone who says one thing and does another or shows some other signs, try this approach.

Three ways to deal with a passive-aggressive colleague

  • Talk to them. Find a quiet private space and explain to your colleague what you’re seeing, hearing and experiencing. Describe the impact of their behaviour on you. Listen to their response and then make your suggestions for how they might change.
  • Focus on work, not the person. You need to get the work done despite your peer’s style. So don’t waste time wishing they would change. Concentrate on completing the work instead.
  • Ask for commitment. At the end of all meetings make sure you ask everyone (not just your difficult colleague) to reiterate what they are going to do and by when. Sometimes peer pressure can keep even the most passive-aggressive person on task.

Passive aggression usually means someone doesn’t have the confidence to assert themselves clearly. It usually reflects an unhappy state of mind. If you get to know this person a little better you just might be able to help them feel more confident at work.

Career coaches and life  coaches like me are around to help you thrive and succeed in challenging times at work or at home. Get in touch at this link – I would like to discuss how I can help you.

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in helping people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. She has worked in management as well as coaching and personal development, as well as starting up her own businesses. That means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up a new business or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. 

Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

 

Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Colleague

Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Colleague

Dealing with Difficult People – Three Ways to Deal with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague

Dealing with a passive aggressive colleague can be very challenging. For example, it can be very frustrating when someone you work with agrees with a plan of action and then goes off to do their own thing. This can have a number of results as well as not being good for harmony in the team.  But it is frequent and it can mean that you do not achieve your own goals. When you have to deal with someone who says one thing and does another, try this:

  • Talk to them Explain to your colleague what you’re seeing, hearing and experiencing. Describe the impact of their behaviour on you and provide your suggestions for how they might change.
  • Focus on work, not the person. You need to get the work done despite your peer’s style, so don’t waste time wishing they would change. Concentrate on completing the work instead.
  • Ask for commitment. At the end of a meeting ask everyone (not just the troublemaker) to reiterate what they are going to do and by when. Sometimes peer pressure can keep even the most passive-aggressive person on task.

Adapted from “How to Deal With a Passive-Aggressive Peer” by Amy Jen Su and Muriel Maignan Wilkins.

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find her books on Amazon at this link

         

Managing Difficult People – Announcing A New Series Of Posts

Managing Difficult People – Announcing A New Series Of Posts

Next week we start a new series of weekly posts for people who find someone in their team to be ‘difficult’. And that has happened to most of us who have experience of managing people in challenging circumstances.

Dealing with difficult people can be hard and it can consume lots of your time, energy and resources. You need a strategy for managing the person that helps you deal effectively with their difficult behaviour, and helps them to become a cooperative, productive and respected member of the team.

We are going to consider how to manage those who

  • Disrupt other people’s performance
  • Say they will do something and then don’t deliver
  • Are ambitious but easily frustrated
  • Become aggressive with you or others in the team
  • Lower their own and other people’s morale with cynicism
  • Want promotion but just aren’t ready yet
  • Refuse to accept feedback and do not respond to the standard performance management processes.

We are going to think about

  • What can trigger difficult behaviour
  • Different types of personalities and your strategy for dealing with individuals
  • Barriers to good communication
  • Handling emotion
  • Performance Review
  • Potential legal and organizational issues and the role of HR

I hope you will gain

  • A better understanding of the causes of difficult behavior.
  • The confidence to stop one person demoralizing others in the team

So see you here next week for the first post in this new series for managers.

If you are a manager and need support in dealing with a team member you find “difficult”,  I would like to help you. Email me wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com now to arrange a free half hour coaching session by Skype. 

Wendy Mason is a career coach working mainly with professional women who want to make that jump to senior level while maintaining a good work/life balance. Before working as a coach, Wendy had a long career in both the public and private sectors in general management and consultancy as well as spells in HR.  She now divides her time between face to face coaching, and coaching and blogging on-line. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

Coming shortly – the WiseWolf Career and Personal Development Programme – if you would like to know more email wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com