How to handle a jealous boss

How to handle a jealous boss

Bosses, like all of us, come with a range of human emotions and one how to handle a jealous bossof them may be jealousy.  Given the number of visits to this post, I guess a lot of people think their boss might be jealous. So here is some advice on how to handle a jealous boss.

Jealousy is usually shown in quite subtle ways in the early stages.

How jealousy might be shown;

  • Have you been relegated to the dreary corner?
  • Do you always seem to be given the most boring work?
  • Are you often given just too much work?
  • May be, you are subject to sarcastic comments?
  • Your manager might just find fault with everything you do?
  • Or start to niggle away at a few small faults you do have?

If some of these apply to you, you need to know how to handle a jealous boss.

Steps to take!

how to handle a jealous boss
Wendy has a concise and practical eBook on how to get on better with your boss. You can find it at this link http://amzn.to/2mshlVJ

First, directly confronting a jealous boss rarely works. Go carefully, particularly if you need to keep the job. It is sad, but in most organisations, unless there is a clear case of bullying, reporting your boss rarely turns out well. The benefit of the doubt will usually be given to the more senior party. Calling on the support of senior contacts against your boss might well rebound. They may not thank you for the information. They may value your boss for his/her technical abilities and your boss may have an otherwise good record.

Hard as it sound, the best approach is usually to make your boss feel you are on their side. They need to believe that, even though you might have it in you to upstage them, you will never do so. They need to feel that you really will support them.

Show your boss that you respect their ability. And ask for their advice. It might be difficult for you at first because you feel that you too are an expert. But it will help to build your relationship.

Make sure you try to make your boss look good. Be ready to share your ideas. Accept that sometimes your ideas might be presented as theirs.  If you have contacts higher up the office, be ready to share them with your boss. And, if your boss has unsung talents, make sure your senior contacts know about them.

If you do find yourself relegated to the dreary corner, see what you can do to brighten things up. In most kinds of work, there is some opportunity to make a positive mark if you look for it.

Remember though if jealousy turns into out-and-out bullying there are legal steps you can take to seek redress.

Overall!

Keep your dignity but turn yourself into an asset for your boss, and not a threat.

There has been a lot of interest in this subject and I’ve received lot a of questions. So, I’ve written a concise and practical eBook on how to get on with the boss. In it you will learn how to make a great first and lasting impression at work. You will find out how to help your boss help you. Don’t be made unhappy, suffer stress and lose confidence because you cannot get on with the person in charge. Poor relationships at work can damage life at home as well as your career. There can be long-term effects on health and on your motivation.  My little eBook can really help you avoid the pitfalls and build a strong, positive, relationship with your boss. There is more on the eBook below but here is a quick link http://amzn.to/2mshlVJ

How To Get On With The Boss covers;

•What it means to get on with the boss
•Why it matters
•How to know whether you get on with your boss
•Getting it right
•What your boss really wants
•How requirements can change over time
•Making a good first impression
•Keeping respect once you are experienced in the role
•What to do when things go wrong
•Bosses with problems
•Demon bosses
•Putting things right
•Moving on when it is time to go
•Bullying

Here is a link to the book

And if you would like a coach to support you as you deal with your boss, please get in touch.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written also written a little book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

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How To Get On With The Boss

How To Get On With The Boss

How To Get On With The Boss – are you having difficulties getting on with the person in charge at work? Lots of people seem have problems with bosses. For one reason or another they can’t get on with them. But bosses How To Get On With The Bosshave a huge impact over as large parts of your daily life. And unhappiness and stress at work usually leaks out to affect the rest of your life.

Bosses are human! If you’re lucky they will be understanding, supportive, encouraging and inspiring. But, being human, they will probably have at least one characteristic that makes them difficult at times.  And if you are really unlucky they might be lazy, unmotivated, weak, over-emotional and sarcastic – all at the same time.

You’re not a powerless victim

Even in very difficult circumstances you can usually do something to help the situation. In most cases you really can learn how to get on with the boss. And, you’re more in control than you think. So, it’s a case of understanding what makes them tick, why they react as they do, and then approaching things in a way that gets the best out of your boss.

There has been a lot of interest in this subject and I’ve received a lot of questions. So, I wrote a concise and practical eBook on how to get on with the boss. And, in it you will learn how to make a great first and lasting impression at work. How to Help your boss help you. Don’t be made unhappy, suffer stress and lose confidence because you cannot get on with the person in charge. Poor relationships at work can damage life at home as well as your career. There can be long-term effects on health and on your motivation.  My little eBook can really help you avoid the pitfalls and build a strong, positive, relationship with your boss.


How To Get On With The Boss covers;

•What it means to get on with the boss
•Why it matters
•How to know whether you get on with your boss
•Getting it right
•What your boss really wants
•How requirements can change over time
•Making a good first impression
•Keeping respect once you are experienced in the role
•What to do when things go wrong
•Bosses with problems
•Demon bosses
•Putting things right
•Moving on when it is time to go
•Bullying

Here is a link to the book

And if you would like a coach to support you as you deal with your boss, please get in touch.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

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Management – Preventing Violence and Harassment in the Workplace

Violence!

Management – Preventing Violence and Harassment in the Workplace

Any form of harassment and violence at work, whether it is committed by co-workers, managers or third-parties like customers or suppliers, is unacceptable.

As well as being wrong ethically, it affects the physical and psychological health of those involved. Yet according to the British Crime Survey (BCS) in 2006/07, there were an estimated 684,000 workplace incidents, (288,000 assaults and 397,000 threats of violence).

Tolerance, diversity, dignity and respect are benchmarks for business and organizational success, so it is in a manager’s interest to identify and address the threat of harassment and violence in the workplace.

But there are legal duties too.

Employers and managers are required to protect the health and safety of all their workers,. Failure to deal with, and take reasonable steps to prevent, harassment and violence not only undermines business performance, it could be unlawful.

Employers and unions have a common, shared interest in preventing harassment and violence. And in 2007, the European Union social partners reached an agreement on the issue.

As a result in the UK, the Trades Union Congress (TUC),the Confederation of British Industry (CBI) and the Partnership of Public Employers (PPE) for employers in the private and public sectors issued guidance to implement the agreement in the UK. This had the support of the Government, including the Health and Safety Executive (HSE), the Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service (ACAS) and the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills (BIS).

The aim of the agreement and the guidance is to;

• Raise awareness and increase the understanding of employers, workers and their representatives of workplace harassment

• Provide employers, workers and their representatives with a framework of response to identify, prevent and manage problems of harassment and all forms of violence at work.

You can find the guidance at this link http://www.hse.gov.uk/violence/preventing-workplace-harassment.pdf

Want to be a Confident Networker? Join my free teleseminar on 26thJune 2012

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com


Other  articles by Wendy

 

Career Development – Dealing with a difficult boss

Dealing with a difficult boss

Emotion: Fear (Photo credit: Cayusa)

We’ve all had them, those cranky bosses who make life difficult! Often, this not just for you and the team but for themselves as well!

I’m not talking about bullies; I’m talking about people who find it difficult to get on with other people and end up in senior management positions.  In a fair world they wouldn’t be there, but no one said the world was going to be fair?

Nevertheless, these cranky bosses can create lots of stress in the workplace. If you work to them with a team working to you, you are going to need to handle the situation.  You will need to relieve the stress on you and on your team, so that you can all concentrate on the real job.

Reality says that, if you want to stay, you are going to have to find a way to work with your cranky boss – you need a strategy.

Here are some tips;

Find a common interest   How much do you know about your boss?  See what you can find out.  What are they interested in?  Where have they come from and where do they want to go?  What are they trying to achieve in this role?  See if you can find some common ground.

Don’t jump to conclusions
Try to keep an open mind, don’t start to assume that your boss is going to be difficult about everything/ Start expecting and behaving as if your boss is going to behave reasonably until it proves otherwise.

If your boss becomes emotional, stay calm
Acknowledge the emotion, for example, “I understand that you are upset” but try not to become upset yourself.  Don’t react with emotion to emotional outburst; try to show understanding without being patronizing.

Keep focused on the work and what needs to be done Address the problem and sort out practical solutions and some options – reassure your boss that you are going to solve the problem if you can.

Manage your own emotions. 
You might find yourself getting angry or upset with your boss. Take some deep breaths concentrating on breathing out, then count to ten.  If necessary take some timeout and go to the bathroom.  Do whatever you need to do to calm down.

Stay real If you have a difficult boss, remember, the problem is about them not you.

Do your best to build a relationship that works with your boss.  If you can’t, then only you know whether it is worth staying around.  If it slides into bullying then you need to take advice –in the UK you can ring the National Bullying Help Line on 0845 22 55 787.

Use the power of good relationship building before and during all negotiations with your difficult boss. People sometimes forget than former opponents often make the strongest allies. You may find that a  well managed approach, working things through with your boss and trying to see their point of view, will earn you respect over time. It may even mean you get that promotion!

If you need advice from a coach, my email address is below.

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com

On dressing, distressing and the dangers of group think!

I watched the Weakest Link last night.  Anne Robinson was clearly in good form!  I missed most of the opening round but I did see the first departure and that made me wonder.  Dave was voted off mainly, apparently,  for his rather flamboyant shirt and the distraction it caused for others.  He hadn’t got any of the questions wrong.  For me his response to going was confusing!   He had a fairly fixed smile on his face as he commented that no one would be surprised as he was expected to have ago at things and fail.

For me this raises a number of challenging issues:

  • Dressing for the programme/part/job really does make a difference! For this group, certainly how you dressed mattered.  When faced with making a choice, even when all other things were equal, the shirt was the deciding factor.
  • Believing you are going to fail usually means you do! If you don’t see yourself as a success, and don’t have the confidence that flows from that vision, then you begin to behave as if failure has already happened.  The energy level drops  and, guess what, down you fall from your tightrope!
  • Standing out from the crowd is risky!  Choosing to stand out from the crowd is always brave but to some degree it is usually required for real success.  It is risky! You put yourself apart from the group and that can mean they turn on you!  If you are already reconciled to failure this can be very risky indeed!  It is very easy to slip into the role of victim and that can lead to bullying – see the point below!
  • Group think can be damage. I doubt these nice middle class contestants would have commented so publicly on someone’s dress, in a group with different values.  In a group it is very easy for us to take on group values and sometimes even slip into the habit of criticising to the point of bullying and destroying someone else’s confidence.   Do the groups you belong to reflect your own values? As a manager – what steps do you take to monitor the values of the groups you lead and how do you intervene to protect potential victims?

I would be very interested in your views on the issues raised here.  Have you been in a group that regarded you as ‘different’?  What happened and how did you handle it?  Have you found yourself managing a group that developed values different from those you would of chosen? What did you do?

My Boss Is Trying to Kill Me | Personal Success | BNET

My boss is killing me. She constantly takes on more and more for our department.  We recently got impressive new titles, which elevated us to an exempt salary level (no more overtime), no raises, and a few more hours work per day for each of us. Stress is so high, I dream about work at night (when I can sleep at all), my hair is falling out, and I’m having digestive issues and sometimes, when things are really bad, chest pains. I wake up every weekday morning with a headache.  Read more at  blogs.bnet.com

Do you agree with the advice given?