Manager behaving badly – is it you?

Manager behaving badly – is it you?

Manager behaving badly – are your anxieties reducing the performance of those you work with?

Are you a manager behaving badly and what is the effect on others? I’ve coached and blogged about career development for a few years now. And there seem to be a number of recurring themes when people talk to me about happiness at work. The most common is “trouble” with boss.

Problems can arise for all kinds of reasons.

Sometimes the person talking to me has had a history of difficulties with other managers in the past. There may be something they can change in their approach to improve things.

Sometimes the person having the problems is in a job that isn’t the right fit and they need to consider a change.

Unfortunately, it isn’t unusual for it to be about manager bad behaviour

Unfortunately, and far too often, the difficulties spring from the way a particular manager has behaved.

Managers come in all kinds of flavours. Some find communicating with their teams easy. For others, it may be something at which they need to work. These days there is little excuse for not knowing that communication is key to good performance but you would be surprised how many managers choose not to hear the message.

Sadly, a small number of managers are out-and-out bullies and they cause much misery and distress. Far more common is a much more subtle effect. There are managers dealing with their personal challenges by acting unprofessional in the workplace.

Some managers deal with trouble in their private life by bringing anger or depression into the office. Many seem quite clever at making sure it is only their juniors who suffer, while colleagues and those above, see a happy, cooperative employee.

Managers may be insecure in their work role (fear of redundancy, for example). They may deal with their anxieties by undermining those who work for them. Heaven help the bright junior who might be a natural successor! But the team might suffer from their “control freakery” and anger – nothing is quite good enough.

Over time, a “boss” working out their own problems at work can cause havoc with their team’s performance. Everyone feels unhappy and stressed; valuable team members look for opportunities to move elsewhere and sick absence may rise.

Manager behaving badly – are you causing problems for others

As a manager, looking objectively at your own performance and admitting you are causing problems for the team can be hard.

It is wise for all manager to step back sometimes and reflect on their own performance. Think about how you behaved over the last week, the last month and the last year.

For example, when you think about your leadership or management style consider;

  • Have there been incidents you later regretted?
  • Are there people on the team you fear may be better than you at the job?
  • Have you stopped seeing good people as an asset and do you now see them as a threat?
  • How happy are the people who work in your team?
  • How have you contributed to that happiness?

Think about how you would judge a colleague behaving as you have behaved. Would it be good for them, their team and the organization, in the long-term? If the answer is no, then act now. Commit to making a change and, if you need help, there are lots of coaches like me around on LinkedIn.

All it takes is the courage to look honestly and objectively at what you have done and not make excuses for yourself. Takes action. You owe it to yourself and your team to make that change.

Working with a coach really can help you be a better manager. Get in touch at the Facing a mid-career dilemmaemail address below – I offer a free half hour trial session by phone or Skype.
Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Do you have empathy?

Do you have empathy?

Empathy is the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes for a while and to see the world though their eyes! It means being able to suspend judgement. So, you share their empathyvalues and see things from their perspective. Empathy is different from sympathy. And, it doesn’t mean feeling sorry for people. Though, it does mean being able to understand what they are thinking and feeling. You are able to establish trust.

The four different levels of empathy

There are four different level of empathy;

  • Level 0. This is when you no show evidence that you understand the other person’s thoughts or feelings. This can be despite the person trying to explain what they are thinking and feeling. So, it is shown most obviously by callous and unthinking remarks
  • Level 1 is when you show some understanding but at a very superficial level. You have only partial understanding. And the other person can feel confused and lack trust as a result.
  • Level 2. This when you show you understand and accept. But you do not completely understand or accept.
  • Level 3 is when there is complete understanding. You accept the other person’s feelings and thoughts.

When you accept that that someone thinks and feels in a particular way, you don’t necessarily approve of all their behaviour. No do you necessarily that behaviour is justified as a result. But it does mean that you can communicate with them. And may be able to influence them in a positive way. You have a basis for trust.

Empathy and relationships

You cannot truly empathise with someone without listening, as well as observing verbal and body messages. And you show through your own voice and body language that you have understood. In other words you have to listen actively.

Empathy is key skill required in building strong relationships, It requires an open mind and the ability to accept difference.

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find her books on Amazon at this link

         

 

Are you an empathetic manager?

Are you an empathetic manager?

Empathy is the ability to walk in someone else’s shoes for a while and to see the world though their eyes! It means being able to suspend judgement, sharing their values and seeing things from their perspective. It is different from sympathy – it doesn’t mean feeling sorry for them. It does mean being able to understand what they are thinking and feeling and being able to establish trust.

The four different levels of Empathy

Classically there are regarded as being four different level of Empathy;

  • Level 0 – this is when there is no evidence that the other person’s thoughts or feelings are understood. This can be despite the efforts of the person to explain what they are thinking and feeling. It can be shown most obviously by callous and unthinking remarks
  • Level 1 – this is when there is some understanding but at a very superficial level. There is only partial understanding and the other person can feel confused and be lacking in trust as a result.
  • Level 2 – this when understanding and acceptance are shown but there is not complete understanding or acceptance
  • Level 3 – here there is complete understanding and acceptance for another’s feelings and thoughts.

Accepting that someone thinks and feels in a particular way, does not mean that you automatically approve of all behaviour which the individual thinks justified as a result. But it does mean that you can communicate with them and may be able to influence them in a positive way. It provides a basis for trust.

You cannot be truly empathetic with someone without listening, observing verbal and body messages and showing through your own voice and body language that you have understood. In other words you have to listen actively.

If you would like to know more about how a career coach can help your job and career prospects, please get in touch.

Warm regards
Wendy
wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com
http://wisewolfcoaching.com

Difficult people – stay neutral!

Difficult people – stay neutral!

Difficult people! We all meet difficult people at work and in our private lives. Dealing with difficult people is a subject that seems to generate more interest than anything else, here and at my other blog, WiseWolf’s Your Happiness Factor. So I’m making no apologies for writing about this again.

Difficult people can do more than make us unhappy.  As if that isn’t bad enough, difficult people can be bad for your health.  If you let them stress you out, that can lead to physical and the psychological problems.

If we meet difficult people in the workplace and they are work colleagues, the stress is on-going.  Even if you are the manager of a difficult person, it can take a toll.  And, if the “difficult person” is your boss, the stress can be almost intolerable. I’m not talking here about a bullying boss; just someone who is difficult to work with.

This video discusses how it is important to stay calm, stay in a neutral space and stay assertive. Try not to let them engage your emotions – you can use visualization to help do this. Accept that all you can control is how you react.

And, yes, it often helps to work with a coach.

This video from http://www.howdini.com/howdini-video-… Mary Bolster, editor of Natural Health Magazine, has some excellent reminders to help you deal with the difficult people in your life.

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find her books on Amazon at this link

         

People at work – how to deal with difficult people – stay neutral!

People at work – how to deal with difficult people – stay neutral!

We all meet difficult people at work and in our private lives.  Dealing with difficult people is a subject that seems to generate more interest than anything else, here and at my other blog, WiseWolf’s Your Happiness Factor.  So I’m making no apologies for posting about this again.

Difficult people can do more than make us unhappy.  As if that isn’t bad enough, difficult people can be bad for your health.  If you let them stress you out, that can lead to physical and the psychological problems.

If we meet difficult people in the workplace and they are work colleagues, the stress is on-going.  Even if you are the manager of a difficult person, it can take a toll.  And, if the “difficult person” is your boss, the stress can be almost intolerable. I’m not talking here about a bullying boss; just someone who is difficult to work with.

This video discusses how it is important to stay calm, stay in a neutral space and stay assertive. Try not to let them engage your emotions – you can use visualization to help do this. Accept that all you can control is how you react.

And, yes, it often helps to work with a coach.

You might find this  other post about learning from difficult people useful too.

This video from http://www.howdini.com/howdini-video-… Mary Bolster, editor of Natural Health Magazine, has some excellent reminders to help you deal with the difficult people in your life.

Wendy Mason is the Happiness Coach and author of a new novel, The Wolf Project Wendy is a life and career coach and writer. She is passionate about helping people find happiness at work and at home! She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  She believes coaching requires compassion, warmth and empathy. Wendy helps people reach their career goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

CV review and interview preparation a speciality

  • Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Tuesday Quotes:Management:Encourage Your Staff
  • Happiness at Work – Becoming Indispensable

Difficult people – learning from them

Difficult people – learning from them

Thoughts for managers – learning from difficult people!

Difficult people – counsellor and trainer Susan Fee shares three lessons difficult people can teach us.

Difficult people

As managers, we need to think about what we can learn from those we manage.  But we still have to be very practical and make sure that we reconcile caring for the needs of the team, and meeting their needs, with meeting the aims of the organization.  That reconciliation is at the heart of what we do as managers.

Wendy Mason is the Happiness Coach and author of a new novel, The Wolf Project.  Wendy is a life and career coach and writer. She is passionate about helping people find happiness at work and at home! She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  She believes coaching requires compassion, warmth and empathy. Wendy helps people reach their career goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

CV review and interview preparation a speciality

  • Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Tuesday Quotes:Management:Encourage Your Staff
  • Happiness at Work – Becoming Indispensable

Thoughts for managers – learning from difficult people!

Thoughts for managers – learning from difficult people!

Counselor and trainer Susan Fee shares three lessons difficult people can teach us.

As managers, we need to think about what we can learn from those we manage.  But we still have to be very practical and make sure that we reconcile caring for the needs of the team, and meeting their needs, with meeting the aims of the organization.  That reconciliation is at the heart of what we do as managers.

Wendy Mason is the Happiness Coach and author of a new novel, The Wolf Project.  Wendy is a life and career coach and writer. She is passionate about helping people find happiness at work and at home! She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life.  She believes coaching requires compassion, warmth and empathy. Wendy helps people reach their career goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life. You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com

CV review and interview preparation a speciality

  • Managing People – Dealing With Difficult Employees
  • Tuesday Quotes:Management:Encourage Your Staff
  • Happiness at Work – Becoming Indispensable