>"It's natural to feel angry, but…!" Handling that Anger!


Angry Penguin 

Anger usually arises from some form of perceived transgression against yourself.  It needn’t be real – you just need to believe it happened! 
When the organisation you have worked for years, suddenly seems to be showing you the door, anger is an understandable reaction!
Anger comes about in three main areas
  • Someone or some thing gets in the way and stops you achieving a goal
  • Someone or some organisation breaks your personal rules.  For example, ‘I’ve worked for them for years and now they want to get rid of me!’
  • You self esteem feels threatened

Being made redundant or being “persuaded” to go “voluntarily” can tick all three boxes!

You feel angry and you may lash out verbally or physically.  Or you may displace your aggression and take it out on someone else; the family at home, for example, or someone more junior who is staying.  
Instead of attacking you may withdraw – storming out or simply opting out of active engagemnt with the work you are expected to complete!
Or you may attack indirectly – for example, subverting or spreading rumours about what the changes really mean – a passive aggressive response.
the "angry wasp", ensign of the 21º ... 
But it is clear that prolonged anger damages you mentally and physically!
You may believe that letting it out is the best way to deal with it.  But big, explosive, ‘cathartic’ expressions of anger reinforce your anger because the underlying beliefs are strengthened. 
To get over being angry you have first to get over the idea that others make you angry!
If others annoy you, it really is you who presses the anger button so that you ‘blow your top’!  
You ‘lose your temper’, no one takes it from you!  
And you probably regret it later, which shows that other options were available.
Your self talk determines how you respond to a situation. Anger results from how you think about a situation, not the situation itself.
Examine the potential results of your anger building up on top of the other challenges you face. 
  • Do you really want to risk damaged relationships?  
  • You will probably need to reference from your employer so now is not the time for poor performance!
  • Being in a constant state of anger will take a toll on both your physical and mental health!  

Look at alternative responses!  
You will be much better placed if you can be assertive rather than angry.  You should stand up for yourself  but without  loss of control.  
Begin to develop an early warning system by recognizing the early signs of anger (muscle tension, clenched fists, the rising voice and impatience) and then learn how to diffuse it,  You can talk yourself down or leave the situation and, when you are calmer, think how to deal with the situation in a more constructive way.
Start slowly and keep practicing.  If you can, talk to those closest to you, tell them why you are doing it and ask them to support you.
Here is a really useful website

Wendy Mason is used to working with people moving out of the Public   Sector! She is a performance, programme, contract management and change specialist. She works as a consultant, business coach and blogger.  Adept at problem solving, she is a great person to bring in when that one thing you thought was straightforward turns out not to be! If you have a problem talk to Wendy – she can help you – email her at wendymason@leavingthepublicsector.net or ring ++44(0)7867681439
You can find her business blog at www.wisewolftalking.com