Making Changes – What Is Troubling You?

Making Changes – What Is Troubling You?

Making Changes – part 3 of the series. Be Clear About Your Emotions!

What Is Troubling You? In the last post in this series  I discussed the need to be quite clear about what you need to change. I said you needed to be as specific and detailed as you could in the way you defined the change.  Starting with a clear and detailed description has a huge impact on the success of your change.

emotion icon
Next you need to think about how you really feel about the change. No significant change is made without some impact on our emotions.  Understanding what those emotions are and knowing how to manage their impact can be key to success.

Troublesome emotions

Troublesome emotions like anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, anger, hurt, jealousy and envy can occur at any time in our lives.  They might be associated with lots of different events. Sometimes they occur when most people may think there should be nothing to worry about.  But they worry you. And they can be very difficult to deal with.

Perhaps one theme and one emotion recurs time and again.  It hasn’t stopped you doing something but it has made it more difficult to do and less satisfying.

Teasing out exactly what the emotion could be is the first step in understanding the thoughts and beliefs behind it.  It can help you gain control of the emotion and make sure things turn out more positively in future.

What Is Troubling You? What do you really feel?

What do you feel, when you think about the change you have to make? Exactly what emotion is being stirred within you?

Now is the time to take some time for reflection. Try not to judge yourself for the emotion you feel. Be very honest with yourself.  Sometimes support from someone you trust like a coach can be helpful in working out what is troubling you.

The next post in this series will be about what aspect of the change is triggering the emotion and why?

If you have tips to share with others about making changes in your life – please get in touch.

Working with a coach can help you to change successfully – email me at the address below for information on how I can help you.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Embedding Change

Embedding change

Embedding Change – Making It Stick And Creating A Culture

Embedding change – here are some ways to make sure the change in your organization is successful

  1. Give them the evidence Show people over and over that the change is real. Provide them with a steady stream of evidence to prove that the change has happened and is successful.  Set out to deliver real results at regular intervals in your change process and then tell people about them – don’t just wait for the big bang at the end. Get people involved and then get them to talk about their involvement.  Make sure everyone hears the news.
  2. Financial reward When loyalty and the joy of the job are not enough to keep people, they may need some financial or other rewards.  The promise of future reward may be enough to keep them engaged but make sure it isn’t too far out to be enticing — usually reasonable reward needs to be within a twelve-month timeframe. This risk is that when the reward is gained, you may lose them. If you want them to stay, you may need to keep a rolling “golden handcuff “ system
  3. Build change into formal systems and structures After a while, institutionalized things become so entrenched, people forget to resist and just do what is required, even if they do not agree with them.  So you can make changes stick by building them into the formal fabric of the organization, for example, in standards and personal objectives.
  4. Give them a new challenge A challenge is a great motivator that can focus people on new and different things. Get people to keep up interest in a change by giving them new challenges related to the change.  Make sure the challenges really stimulate them and keep them looking to the future.
  5. Reward people for doing the right things. A surprisingly common trap in change is to ask (or even demand) that people change, yet the reward system that is driving their behavior is not changed. Asking for teamwork then rewarding people as individuals is a very common example.  So when you make a change, make sure that you align the reward system with the changes that you want to happen.
  6. Rites of passage Rituals are symbolic acts to which we attribute significant meaning. A celebration to mark a change is used in many cultures, ranging from rites of passage to manhood for aboriginal tribes to the wedding ceremonies of Christian and other religions. Such ritual passages are often remembered with great nostalgia, and even the remembrance of them becomes ritualized.  When a change is completed, celebrate with a party or some other ritualized recognition of the passing of a key milestone.  You can also start a change with a wake (which is a party that is held to celebrate the life of someone who has died) to symbolize letting go of the past.  Create new rituals to help shift the culture to a new form. Use these, if possible, to replace the rituals that already exist.
  7. Socializing Build your change into the social fabric. A change that is socialized becomes normal and the ‘way things are’.  When something becomes a social norm, people will be far more unlikely to oppose it as to do so is to oppose the group and its leaders. Seal changes by building them into the social structures.  Give social leaders prominent positions in the change. When they feel ownership for it, they will talk about it and sell it to others.

If you have other ideas for embedding change and making it successful, please share them here.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

>

Engaging Individuals

Engaging Individuals

Leading and Managing Change – It Starts With One – Engaging Individuals

Engaging Individuals – all kinds of organisations, public and private , large and small, have been searching for decades for the holy grail of organisational change. They want to find the perfect way to motivate employees to change their old ways for what management (or consultants!) deem to be better, new ones.

This is a great video about engaging Individuals from the INSEAD (the Business School) channel on YouTube. It is about changing the hearts and minds of individuals as a necessary precursor to organisational change.  The real engagement of individuals is key to success in organisational change

Hal Gregersen is a Senior Affiliate Professor of Leadership at INSEAD where he pursues his vocation of executive teaching, coaching, consulting, and research by exploring how leaders in business, government, and society discover provocative new ideas, develop the human and organizational capacity to realize those ideas, and ultimately deliver positive, powerful results.

Stewart Black is the INSEAD Affiliate Professor of Organisational Behaviour

You can find out more about INSEAD at this link http://www.insead.edu/home/

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

>

Be Successful – Making A Personal Change – Part 4 Identify what is most difficult for you

From the Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Emot...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Be Successful – Making A Personal Change – Part 4 Identify what is most difficult for you

In the last post in this series I asked you to start thinking about emotions and I explained how identifying your troublesome emotion helps you gain control and make sure things turn out more positively for you in the future.

Now, you need to identify what is most difficult for you about the change. 

This is important because it helps you get to the root of the problem and so you avoid spending too much time on the peripheral issues. It saves you energy you would have spent dealing with less important aspects of your change. For example, you might feel angry about something that happened last time you tried to make this kind of change. But what really caused you to feel that way?

When you know what it is that is actually causing your big emotion, you can start to develop a more helpful attitude. 

Find a little time and a quiet space to go through this exercise. Think about what happened in the past to make you feel this way. Now imagine someone telling you the same story. What advice would you give them? Imagine questioning them about what happened and pressing them to tell you more and more about how it happened until you get right down to the root cause. Now what is that fundamental belief about themselves that is making them feel uncomfortable.

What advice would you give them to help them have a more healthy attitude? Now step into their shoes and think about you having the same experience and how you can now apply the new approach. Practice thinking in this new way. 

Success here depends on being very honest with yourself.

If you need support from a coach in sorting out the fundamental belief that is stopping you making positive changes, get in touch, my phone number is below. 

The next post in this series will be about setting goals for your change and how to avoid the pitfalls in goal setting. 

If you have tips to share with others about making changes in your life – please get in touch.

The links to the earlier posts in this series are below.

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com

Related articles
  • Be Successful – Making A Personal Change – Part 3 Be Clear About What Is Troubling You
  • Be Successful – Making A Personal Change – Part 1 Admit A Change is Needed

  • Be Successful – Making A Personal Change – Part 2 Be Clear About The Change You Wa

The Resilient Mindset – don’t let a fixed mindset defeat you.

Don’t change – stay right where you are”!

Nobody said change was easy.  Personal change is hard, so is changing an organization.  It is uncomfortable and risky.

That is why most of us don’t change until change is forced on us.

We don’t change; even when making a change could make a huge and positive difference for us and those about us.

Most of us have a mindset that favours staying put right where we are – a “fixed” mindset. And fixed mindsets lack resilience.

Standing still and staying where we are, can present far more danger and risk in the long term than making a change.

Changing that mindset

So how do you develop a resilient mindset?

You need to learn to challenge your own thinking.

Your fixed mindset will chatter away in your head, if you let it.  It will fill your head with negativity and erode your confidence.

The nasty fixed mindset will tell you that even if you wanted to change, you can’t do it!  You’re not bright enough! Your team isn’t strong enough!  You don’t have the brains or the talent!

This time you are going to answer back. 

“Well I’m certainly bright enough – if I see the need for change, I’m bright enough to do it.  I can learn and I can find people who can advise me.  I can learn and my team can learn!”

You fixed mindset will probably answer – “But what happens if and when you fail?

So here is your defence.  “Everyone fails sometimes.  But I’ll do it well and I’ll manage the risks – so I’ve got every chance of success”

“But” says your fixed mindset, “if you don’t make the change, you can’t fail.”

“No, but, if I don’t try, I’ve failed already!

Now your fixed mindset sneers and becomes cunning.  “Oh so it is going to be easy for you then!”

You smile wryly.  “No it isn’t going to be easy.  Nothing worth having comes easy. I’m going to do it”

Back into the shadows!

If you keep beating it back, at some point your fixed mindset will slink away into the shadows.  It won’t be dead.

It may emerge occasionally when you are feeling tired or frustrated.

But you have the upper hand now.  You know you have to find the energy to take up your sword and beat it back into the shadows again.

With practice you can learn to think positively and confidently about your change.  You will develop a resilient mindset

You can do it! You can make the change you desire – it is time to start believing. Reach for your sword and begin practicing.


Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Writer. 

She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those;

  • looking for work
  • looking for promotion or newly promoted
  • moving between Public and Private Sectors
  • facing redundancy
  • moving into retirement
  • wanting to do a mid-life review

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Share

  • Becoming A Leader Today – What to give up! (wisewolftalking.com)
  • Are you a resilient leader? (wisewolftalking.com)
  • Business: Change Your Performance Mindset (psychologytoday.com)

Appreciative Inquiry – making change truly positive!

Image via Wikipedia

Appreciative Inquiry is an approach to change that focuses on the positive!  It works on the principle that what is good now that can be built on to achieve a vision for the future.

When thinking about change people often focus on what is wrong now – what is deficient. This has been the traditional approach to change management

Appreciative Inquiry, which has its roots in Positive Psychology, starts the other way round.  It looks at what is good and valuable now and then uses that as a foundation for moving forward.

Once the basis is established you can then explore the future possibilities with much greater confidence.

In all change, something will be lost but with Appreciative Inquiry you work to make sure that much of what is good remains.  It allows people to honour the past and have confidence in the future!

Appreciative Inquiry was developed as a tool for changing organizations but, as an approach, it works very well with people and teams.  It allows them to approach change with greater confidence.

If you work as a coach or consultant using Appreciative Inquiry,  you work with a client to show existing strengths and successes so that you can then work together to bring about positive change.

Appreciative Inquiry uses a cycle of 4 processes that can work for people, groups or whole organizations,

  1. DISCOVER: The identification of what works well now.
  2. DREAM: Envisioning what would work well in the future.
  3. DESIGN: Planning how to deliver what will work well.
  4. DESTINY (or DELIVER): The implementation of the plan

You can read more in these books

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Writer. 

She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those;

  • looking for work
  • looking for promotion or newly promoted
  • moving between Public and Private Sectors
  • facing redundancy
  • moving into retirement
  • wanting to do a mid-life review

You can contact Wendy at wendymason@wisewolfconsulting.com  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

  • Trust (wisewolftalking.com)
  • Heroes – Gurus of Change [Wendy Mason] (ecademy.com)
  • Organizational culture, what organizational culture? (wisewolftalking.com)