Resilience – do you have an ability to bounce back?

Resilience – do you have an ability to bounce back?

resilience

Resilience – a quality that marks out many successful people.  And, they seem to have an outstanding ability to bounce back.

Psychological resilience is about how well you deal with stress, resolve problems and handle misfortune. But, no one goes through life without set-backs. Issues that test your ability to bounce back can emerge at work, at home or in your private life. Health and relationship problems and/or financial pressures may need great resilience to handle. So, resilience usually helps you handle and bounce back from misfortune.

Some people seem to be born with this natural ability to bounce back. But, if you are not so lucky, resilience is a skill that can be learned by almost anyone. And, it is strengthened by an optimistic outlook and a positive approach to life. Resilience is about coming out of a deeply stressful situation strengthened; having learned from the experience.

Resilience is best understood as a process.

This includes;

  • Knowing how to analyse what is going on around you
  • Making plans to handle the situation
  • Having confidence in your ability to carry out your plans
  • Knowing how to communicate and get support when you need it
  • Handling your strong feelings and emotions.

Resilient people who look for the best in any situation. Those who are prepared to be flexible in their approach and focused on solving problems, seem to be the most resilient. A sense of humour in the face of adversity always helps. Humour seems to improve the immune system. People with perseverance and passion for their long-term goals often manage to overcome huge obstacles on the way.

How to build resilience

The American Psychological Association suggests “10 Ways to Build Resilience.” These are:

  1. Maintaining good relationships with family and friends
  2. Avoiding seeing crises or stressful events as unbearable problems
  3. Learning to accept what cannot be changed
  4. Developing realistic goals and moving towards them
  5. Taking decisive actions in adverse situations
  6. Looking for opportunities for self-discovery after a struggle with loss
  7. Developing self-confidence
  8. Keeping a long-term perspective and considering the stressful event in a broader context
  9. Maintaining a hopeful outlook, expecting good things and visualizing what is wished for
  10. Taking care of your mind and body, exercising regularly; paying attention to your own needs and feelings.

What if you didn’t get the chance to learn to be resilient when young?

Unfortunately, there can be many circumstances in life which work against developing these characteristics in early life. Luckily, you can take steps to develop your resilience at any time. It is never too early or too late to start learning to bounce.

Working with a coach really can help you develop resilience. Get in touch at the email address below – I offer a free half hour trial session by phone or Skype.
Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Difficult boss – here is help

Difficult boss – here is help

 Difficult boss - here is help

We’ve all had them, those cranky bosses who make life difficult! It isn’t easy working for a difficult boss.

I’m not talking about bullies. I’m talking here about people who find it difficult to get on with other people but end up in charge of others.  In a fair world they wouldn’t be there, but no one said that life was fair?

These cranky bosses create lots of stress in the workplace. If you have one and manage a team yourself, it’s up to you to relieve the stress. Then you will all be able to concentrate on the real job.

If you want to stay, you are going to have to find a way to work with your cranky boss. So, you need a strategy.

Here are some tips;

Find a common interest.  How much do you know about your boss?  See what you can find out.  What are they interested in?  Where have they come from and where do they want to go?  What are they trying to achieve in this role?  See if you can find some common ground.

Show how you can help them. If you are good at your job, don’t let your boss feel you are competing with them. Make sure what you do supports them. Work hard not to resent them getting credit for your hard work.

Don’t jump to conclusions. 
Try to keep an open mind, don’t start to assume that your boss is going to be difficult about everything. Start expecting and behaving as if your boss is going to behave reasonably until he/she proves otherwise.

Stand between the boss and your team. Recognize it is your job to protect them. Make sure their contribution is recognized and stand up for them when you need to.

If your boss becomes emotional, stay calm. 
Acknowledge the emotion, for example; “I understand that you are upset.” But try not to become upset yourself. Don’t react with emotion to emotional outburst. Try to show understanding without being patronizing.

Keep focused on the work and what needs to be done Address the problem and sort out practical solutions and some options. Reassure your boss that you are going to solve the problem if you can.

Manage your own emotions. 
You might find yourself getting angry or upset with your boss. Take some deep breaths concentrating on breathing out, then count to ten.  If necessary take some timeout and go to the bathroom.  Do whatever you need to do to calm down.

Stay real. If you have a difficult boss, remember, the problem is about them, not you.

Build the relationship

Do your best to build a relationship that works with your boss.  If you can’t, then only you know whether it is worth staying around.  Long term low morale does erode confidence. And if the boss’s behaviour slides into bullying you need to take advice –in the UK you can ring the National Bullying Help Line on 0845 22 55 787.

Use the power of good relationship building before and during all negotiations with your difficult boss. People sometimes forget than former opponents often make the strongest allies. You may find that a well-managed approach, working things through with your boss and trying to see their point of view, will earn their respect over time. It may even mean you get that promotion!

I’ve written an eBook on how to get on with your boss. You can find it at this link.  Working with a coach really can help in these kind of situations – my email address is below.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Working With a New Boss

Working With a New Boss

Working With a New Boss

Working with a new boss can be a challenge, But here are some tips to help you prepare,

Rumours fill a vacuum

Before a new boss arrives you may here all kinds of rumours about them, some good and some perhaps worrying. Stay calm but keep your wits about you till you have some real news. Once you have a name for your new boss, do your own research. Find out as much as possible about them but stay in a neutral space. Don’t add to the rumor mill and don’t assume that reputations are always justified. Give your new boss a chance.

Give the new boss some space 

When the new boss arrives, give them time and space to settle in. Don’t rush to be the first to make a good impression – there will be lots of people doing  just that.  But be courteous and welcoming – be optimistic.  Do your job as well as you can. 

Help when it is needed

 Show you are willing to help and support when your new boss needs help.  Make it clear you are happy to share your knowledge of the organization and to make introductions. Accept that your new boss will have their own way of doing things. And too much “this is how we do things here” from you, will really irritate.

Be authentic 

Be yourself with the new boss and don’t pretend to know more than you do.  If they ask a question you can’t answer, then offer to go and find out. Don’t bluff. If they are any good they will see straight through it. Above all, don’t pretend to be someone in the organization that you are not. Pretending to be on first name terms with the CEO can rebound on you. 

An opportunity to make a fresh start

Most new bosses will have made some inquiries about key people in their new team.  But there is probably still a chance to make a fresh start.  As you get to know your new boss, take the opportunity to make a positive impression.  Show how good you are. And, when the new boss has settled in, make sure they know how interested you are in your own career.

What about new bosses who want to bring in new teams?

Some new bosses do prefer to bring in new teams. In your research before the new boss arrives, you may be able to find out if this so. Have done in the past?  If so, do all the things, I’ve suggested above. Give your new boss an opportunity to see how valuable and how flexible you can be.  Show them that you can adapt to the new situation. But be realistic – brush up your CV and keep an eye open for other possibilities. Make sure you line-up your old boss up to give you a glowing reference.

Working with a new boss – accept the new situation

Accept that change happens.  Things cannot stay the same, so accept that with grace.  You may be sorry to see your old boss go. But the future is full of new possibilities.  Do your best to make the most of the opportunity..

You will benefit from the support of a coach in dealing with your change.  My email address is below.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Career Success Quotes

Career Success Quotes

Career success quotes – some words to inspire you!

    1. Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as you mind lets you. What you believe, you can achieve. Mary Kay Ash
    2. Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. H.L. Hunt
    3. To love what you do and feel that it matters – how could anything be more fun? Katherine Graham
    4. The best job goes to the person who can get it done without passing the buck or coming back with excuses. Napoleon Hill
    5. Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it.  Catherine Pulsifer
    6. The will to win is important, but the will to prepare is vital. Joe Paterno
    7. The ultimate inspiration is the deadline. Nolan Bushnell
    8. Work while others are wishing. Thomas A. Edison
    9. Winners take time to relish their work, knowing that scaling the mountain is what makes the view from the top so exhilarating. Denis Waitley
    10. People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. Norman Vincent Peale
    11. Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. David McCullough
    12. Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it. Buddha
Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

How To Get Promoted Part 2

How To Get Promoted Part 2

Career Development – Get that Promotion; Part 2

How To Get Promoted – are you doing well in your present role but feel ready Get Promotedfor the next step up? Even in this tough economic climate some people are still managing to get promotion. But how do you make yourself part of that élite group? This is the second in a two post series.  Here is a link to Part 1 – link

How To Get Promoted – Last week I suggested that you should;

  • Create a portfolio of work you have done, showing your value to the organization,
  • Volunteer for more responsibility,
  • Create your own opportunity,
  • Let your ambition show but with discretion,
  • Ask for a private meeting to discuss properly how you are doing.
  • Now here are a further six tips to help you on your way.

Take a deep breath and blow your own trumpet

It is OK to do so if you know the notes to play. You can afford to brag a little, but with care. It doesn’t hurt to remind your boss of your accomplishments. Bosses are human and they do forget things; it helps if you can prompt and do it with facts and figures. Saying you are the Greatest may raise some laughs but that kind of bragging won’t make the kind of impression you want. If you have reduced costs or made some other improvement – quote the numbers. Make sure you concentrate on what is good about your performance, putting down someone else’s performance to make you look good isn’t impressive.

Blackmail doesn’t usually work

Avoid threats and demands. Making your boss squirm is not going to make them want to go out of their way to help you. Threatening to leave will not make your boss think better of you. Using it as blackmail can rebound and lead to doubts about your loyalty. Stay calm and if you feel frustrated, try not to show it.

Have friends in high places

Mentors further up the line are always valuable. If you can get someone on your side before you ask for promotion, it offers great benefits. You will be better informed about what life is like higher up. And it will show your boss you are serious about getting on. It gives you informal influence (outside the organization chart) and it will give you a friendly ear if things get a little tough.

Shine in your present post

Your present role gives you the opportunity to show what you can do. Push it as far as you can – go the extra mile. Work out what excellence really means in the job you do and make that the standard! Beat the deadlines and make a reputation for solving problems. That way you become someone who everyone wants on their team and they can see what an asset you will be at a more senior level. But don’t be personally indispensable. Build a structure that means the your team can function well without you, but make sure people know that it is your team. That way your boss won’t be so scared of losing you that they block your promotion.

Model more senior behaviour

Note how senior people in your organization behave. How do they talk, behave and think? Pick someone you admire and respect. Now use them as a role model. Start to behave in the way that you would like to be perceived.

Keep learning

Take every opportunity to learn more about your field, your profession and the organization in which you work. It will better equip you for a more senior role and it will also impress your boss. It will show that you are serious. About promotion. You will find lots of self-study material on-line which makes it a little easier to combine study with full-time work. No, it isn’t easy to study when you are working but if it is a real investment in you.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Going for Promotion

Going for Promotion

Going for Promotion – if you have the the right qualities, prepare well and have just a little bit of luck, this could be your moment!

Now is the time to;

  • Be the one that volunteers for the difficult task.
  • Make clear that you are prepared to take on more responsibility.
  • Where you see a problem looming, be the one who comes up with a solution –
  • Be there with new and ingenious ways to cut costs
  • Have ideas for new niches
  • Have new skills if they are required
  • Prove what you can do!

Make sure the boss knows you are thinking about the organization, not just yourself!  But when you do something new or extra make sure your boss does know about it.  If it’s not possible to give you a raise now, then can you negotiate something for when things improve – get it on the record!  Can you tie how much you receive to that improvement with your present pay as a fall-back?

Go for it!  You’ve got nothing to lose and at the very worst you will be someone they want to keep around – right now that is a bonus.  Good Luck!

And if you need a little help, just get in touch with me.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

Making Changes – Defining Change

Making Changes – Defining Change

Making Changes – part 2 of the series. Be Clear About The Change You Want!Defining change

Defining Change – Making Changes is series of posts about how to make positive changes in your personal or professional life that really work . So, I hope it helps you. Perhaps, you have comments, or would like further help? If so, my email address is at the bottom of the article.

In the last post in this series  I discussed the need to face reality,  admit that a change is needed and take responsibility for action.  Now is the time to be quite clear about what you need to change.

Be as specific and detailed as you can in the way you define the change. Starting with a clear and detailed description is important. If you don’t really know what you want, you can find yourself very disappointed after you made the change.

Defining change – tips!

Here are some tips to help you and define change and be clear about the problem you are trying to solve.

  1. Start with what you know now! Write down as much as possible about the thing you want to change, why you want to make a change and how you plan to make it.
  2. Consider what other information you might need. What gaps are there in your knowledge about the change you want to make. Do you understand completely how you are going to make the change and what the full effects might be?  For example, will other people be effected?  Do you need their support in making the change and are you likely to get it? How much time and money will it cost to do it and do you have those resources available?  Does making this change mean you will need to make others – what will they be?
  3. Collect the information you need.  This could include both facts and the opinions of others about the change you plan.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help. What has been their experience in making a similar change – what has worked for them and what has not?  Try to gather as much information as you can.

Now you are ready to define the change you want to make.

If you have gone through the steps above, you are ready to set down in detail what your change is and how you want to make it.  Write it down and make it as clear, colorful and detailed as you can.

The next post in this series is going to cover handling emotions when making changes in our lives. No significant change is made without some impact on our emotions and knowing how to manage that impact can be key to success.

I would love to hear your experiences in making changes in your life

Working with a coach can help you to change successfully – email me at the address below for information on how I can help you.

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

The earlier post in this series

Making Changes – First, Admit A Change is Needed

Making Changes – Admit A Change is Needed

Making Changes – part 1 of the series. First, admit you need a change.Making Changes

Making Changes is series of posts about how to make positive changes in your personal or professional life that really work . So, I hope it helps you. Perhaps, you have comments, or would like further help? If so, my email address is at the bottom of the article.

Change happens

Making changes – yes, change is inevitable. And, you can’t avoid it, but sometimes we do our best to try!  At the end of the day, though, we all get caught up in it.  If you look back at your own life, and your career, you will know that this is true.

Some change is positive and some negative. But change is inevitable. So how do you make the most of it for you, your family and your career?

Facing reality

The secret is to recognize and truly acknowledge when a change is needed. Often it is hardest to admit to yourself when that change needs to be made within you.  Start to watch  and listen to the world around you and how those about you are responding. How do they respond to you? How have things changed? If they have changed, how are you going to respond? The world is changing constantly. So make scanning your horizons a regular part of your routine.

At home and at work

At home make sure you take time to really listen to those about you including close friends. It is all too easy to get into a busy routine that leaves no time to really talk to others outside of work. So, when you ask questions about how they are feeling, be ready to listen fully to an honest answer. And, give them time and space to fully express themselves while you take time to work out how best to respond.  Staying tuned-in is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships. If a relationship isn’t healthy, be ready to take the steps necessary to put things right

At work, ask your boss for feedback about your performance if it isn’t volunteered. Begin to see how others are working now. Listen to what your boss and your colleagues are saying about the future. Read the professional and trade journals for your sector and take part in your professional organization. Keep in touch on the internet with others in your market place through organisations like LinkedIn.

Making changes – admit you need a change.

Before you make a change, you need to truly acknowledge and accept you need one. Sometimes, it will be about something within yourself or the way you act.  Are you doing all you can to keep your relationships healthy?Are you fully meeting the needs of your job as it is now,  It is all too easy to assume everything has stayed the same. The reality is that probably it hasn’t. But of  course many of the changes may be for the better. How best to respond is really up to you.

Admitting you have a weakness is painful.  It is far more comfortable to blame your partner, the boss, your colleagues or your friends. It is easier to make excuses and rationalize the situation, than admit to things as they are really and begin making changes.

Making Changes – taking the first steps

Facing reality,  admitting there is a problem and taking responsibility for action set up the conditions needed for a successful change.  They are your first steps in making changes.

The next post in this series is about being clear about the change required. You can find it at this link

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link

         

 

What Makes A Good Boss – Quotes

What Makes A Good Boss

Quotes – What Makes A Good Boss

What Makes A Good Boss – some quotes to help you decide!

A good boss makes people realize they have more ability than they think they have so that they consistently do better work than they thought they could. Charles Erwin Wilson

One of the great things we do is recognize people. Those things are greatly appreciated by family and friends and colleagues. It’s so hard to define every certain instance. We have to use our own good judgement. Carl Persis

A good boss is a person who can tolerate my complaints and still manage to say hello to me every day. Byron Pusifer

My boss… always stands by me if I get in trouble. He always stands by my decisions. He is very polite and intelligent. Kristina Smulkstyte

She encourages her staff to participate in decisions that affect the workplace and come up with ideas to make things run more efficiently – and then turns those ideas into practice. She has an almost magical ability to get people to “go beyond” and do more than the job requires. Anon

He makes others feel valued and appreciated. He enjoys helping others become better people and better employees. He does not jump to conclusions; he gets all the facts and lets it simmer before taking any action. He listens to everybody’s input on the company and reminds us it’s our company too. Anon

I really want to know what they need from me …. not all employees need the same things from their manager. Susan M. Heathfield

Keep your own office door open most of the time, but respect your employees’ need for privacy when busy or with clients. Anon

Developing and sustaining self-awareness ought to be at the top of the list for every boss. Anon

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way. Tina Fey

 

Wendy Smith, Career, life and Business Coach
Wendy Smith, Principal Coach, WiseWolf Life and Career Coaching

Wendy Smith is a career consultant, life coach and business coach with depth of experience in organisational development, management, coaching and personal development. That experience means she is equally at home helping clients find a new career direction, starting-up new businesses or dealing with life’s more challenging personal issues. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wendy has written a little eBook on how to get on with your boss and a book on job search – you can find all her books on Amazon at this link