Emotional Intelligence and Your Job Search

Using emotional intelligence really can help you succeed in your job search.

But what is emotional intelligence, and why is it that success in life sometimes seems unrelated to intelligence and how hard you are prepared to work?

It has been said that your IQ can land you a job but your lack of EQ (Emotional Intelligence) can get you fired. However, demonstrating emotional and social intelligence is becoming more and more important in your job search.

Many more recruiters and employers now appreciate that emotional intelligence and social intelligence are great determinants of the success you are likely to achieve at work.  A study from Virginia Commonwealth University  has shown that “high emotional intelligence does have a relationship to strong job performance  — in short, emotionally intelligent people make better workers.”  As a result, companies like Microsoft and Deutsche Bank now use EQ tests in their recruitment processes.

Derren Thompson, Manager, Diversity Recruiting for Sodexo, one of the largest services companies in the world reminds readers in their  blog that the “businesses that will succeed in the 21st century will be the ones that allow employees to bring the whole of their intelligence into the work force – their emotional and intellectual self. Not only does this impact morale, but productivity increases, too.”

Recognizing the significance of this, means you can use emotional intelligence to help you succeed in your job search.

But what is emotional intelligence?

In 1996 Daniel Goleman wrote his groundbreaking book “Emotional Intelligence“. His exhaustive research had confirmed that success in life is based more on our ability to manage our emotions than on our intellectual capability or our physical strength.

According to Howard Gardner, the influential Harvard theorist, “Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) is the level of your ability to understand other people, what motivates them and how to work cooperatively with them,”

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, assess, and manage your own emotions, the emotions of others and also group emotions. It can also be a way of engaging with others that draws them to you.

EQ requires four capabilities;

  1. Self-awareness,
  2. Self-management,
  3. Social awareness
  4. Relationship management.

But EQ can do more for you in your job search than just impress a potential employer, it can help you decide what kind of role to go for.

One way to begin is to ask yourself two questions:

  • First, when do you feel excited or curious? This will help you be clear about your interests and passions.
  • Second,  work out what makes you upset, depressed and angry, and why? This helps you identify your core values and that often makes the difference in whether a job or career will be the right fit for you.

Understanding your emotions can also help you maintain your optimism and cope with stress during a long job search – it can help you stay positive while you find the right role for you.

If you would like to know more about emotional intelligence and how it can help you at work as a manager and leader, go to our sister site WiseWolf Talking– Leadership, Management, Career and Personal Development.  If you would like to know what emotional intelligence might mean for you in your life outside work then please visit WiseWolf’s Your Happiness Factor.

If you would like to read Dr Goleman’s book click on the picture link below and if you would like to try out an EQ test try this link http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3038

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career. You can email her atwendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 

 

 

Leadership and Emotional Intelligence

Robert Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions

Using emotional intelligence can help you succeed as a leader. But what is emotional intelligence, and why is it that success in life sometimes seems unrelated to intelligence and how hard you are prepared to work?

In 1996 Daniel Goleman wrote his groundbreaking book “Emotional Intelligence“. His exhaustive research had confirmed that success in life is based more on our ability to manage our emotions than on our intellectual capability or our physical strength.

Dr Goleman describes five main elements of emotional intelligence:

  1. Self-awareness.
  2. Self-regulation.
  3. Motivation.
  4. Empathy.
  5. Social skills.

The ability to call on these five qualities can help you to succeed as a leader.

  1. Self-awareness means you are in touch with your own feelings and emotions. You understand how they affect your behaviour and how they influence those around you.  You can strengthen your self-awareness by keeping a daily journal where you record how you feel each day and then reflect on what you have written.  Take time during the day to monitor yourself, your feelings and how you are reacting to things.
  2. Self-regulation means you don’t let fly with negative emotions or make rushed judgments about things or people.  Successful leaders stay in control of themselves and they are prepared to be flexible while being accountable. To help you do this, you need know your values and where you are not prepared to compromise. Spend some time thinking about what really matters to you.  Make a commitment to be accountable for what you do and practice staying calm. A relaxation technique can help – try this technique on our sister site WiseWolf’s Your Happiness Factor.
  3. Motivated leaders have a clear vision and work consistently towards their goals. Do you have that clear vision and is it still appropriate to you and your organization?  Find out more about developing the right vision at this link. If you get to the point where you are responding to events, rather than being proactive, then take action because your lack of motivation could put your organization at risk.
  4. For leaders, having empathy is critical to managing a successful organization or a successful team.  Empathy means you can put yourself in someone else’s situation. Leaders with empathy help develop their teams as they develop themselves. They make sure that people are treated fairly, and they listen.  As a result they earn respect and loyalty. Practice imagining yourself in someone else’s shoes – put yourself in their position.  Listen carefully to what people say and pay attention to body language – respond to feelings!
  5. Leaders with social skills are good communicators – they communicate well and often. They’re just as open to hearing bad news as good news!  Leaders who have good social skills have the confidence to resolve conflicts before they threaten the team or the organization. Learn to talk to your team and if necessary do some formal training in communication skills and conflict resolution.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage both your own emotions, and those of the people you lead.   Having a high EQ means  knowing what you are feeling, what this means, and how your emotions can affect other people. For leaders, having emotional intelligence is essential for success. Take time to work on self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.  They will certainly help ensure that you succeed as a leader.

If you would like to know more about emotional intelligence and how it can help you in job search go to our sister site WiseWolf Leaving the Public Sector.  If you would like to know what emotional intelligence might mean for you in your life outside work then please visit WiseWolf’s Your Happiness Factor.

If you would like to read Dr Goleman’s book click on the picture link below

You can try out an EQ test at this link http://testyourself.psychtests.com/testid/3038

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career. You can email her atwendymason@wisewolfcoaching.com or ring ++44(0)2084610114 

3 ways you can develop the confidence you need to become self-employed

confidence

Today we have a guest post from Antoinette Oglethorpe.  Antoinette  specialises in helping business leaders and professionals take control of their careers and realise their ambitions. Her special report on “How to become self-employed confidently & successfully” is available at www.takingtheplungeseries.com

3 ways you can develop the confidence you need to become self-employed

To move successfully into self-employment you need to believe in yourself, your capability and your ability to make things happen.  In essence, you need to know you can make it a success whatever happens.

No-one is going to be totally self-confident all the time.  As a very successful business man once said “If things are going really well you can’t get over-excited because you’re not a genius; but if things get difficult you can’t get too downhearted because you’re not a fool either”

Sometimes the biggest risk is doing nothing and without risk there is likely to be no reward.

Here are 3 ways you can use a simple 1 to 10 scale to develop the confidence you will need to become self-employed.

  1. Personal reflection.  Thinking about a scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is that you have total confidence you can make a success of self-employment and 1 is no confidence at all, where would you put yourself today?  Now the typical inclination of most people is to then focus on all the reasons they’re not at 10.  Instead of that, I’m going to suggest that you think about all the things that put you as high as you are – however high that is – and not lower.  What knowledge do you have that will help?  What skills do you have that will help?  What experience do you have that will help?  What aspects of your personality will help?  What other transitions have you made in your life in the past?  What helped in those cases?
  1. Feedback from others.  Think about all the feedback you have had from others – friends, family, colleagues, and previous bosses.  What do other people know and say about you that gives you confidence?  Ask them for their honest answers to the above questions.
  1. Focus on small steps.  Focussing on trying to get to 10 can have the opposite effect to the one you’re trying to achieve.  It can seem such a far way off that it paralyses and demotivates you.  So don’t worry about 10 for now.  Instead, think about what would be different if you were just one point higher up the scale.  Would you have developed a particular skill? Would you have obtained feedback from other self-employed individuals?  Would you have researched your business idea or something else?   What needs to happen to increase your confidence by one point?  What small first steps could you take to move towards that?

By thinking about what’s already giving you confidence, getting feedback from others and focussing on small steps you can break it down to some immediate, manageable actions that you can take to make progress.

Antoinette Oglethorpe specialises in helping business leaders and professionals take control of their careers and realise their ambitions. Her special report on “How to become self-employed confidently & successfully” is available at www.takingtheplungeseries.com.

Be Optimistic – Confidence and the Personal Development Mindset

English: Seedling Deutsch: Sämling

Optimists see Good around them – they focus on the positive!  That means the impact of negative things is very much reduced!

Pessimists – do just the opposite. They concentrate on negative events and so miss out on the full impact of lots of good things.

Research suggests that whether we are optimists or pessimists depends to some extent on our genetic make up – we are born with a tendency that way.

But environment and how we grow up also plays a part.

Think about your own experience – as you were growing up, did those around see life in a negative or a positive way?  What effect do you think that had on you?  

But we know that on the whole optimists are happier and research suggests that they are also healthier and live longer. They appear to suffer less from depression and they recover more quickly from illness.

Pessimism drains you and wears you out.  You feel just plain tired of all that negativity!

But here is the good news!

You can train yourself to be an optimist and it is not that hard to do! If you are prepared to put in some time and effort, it is never too late to become an optimist.

The Optimism Pledge – Three Good Things A Day

Make a commitment that for the next two weeks you will make a list of three good things that have happened each day. Start a journal today and arrange a date with yourself to sit quietly for 10 minutes each evening reflecting on the day and finding three good things that have happened.  They can be from the most simple to the most grand.

Once you have decided what they are, write a description and why you feel good about them.  Make your description colourful and feel the pleasure as you write!

Now you will understand what thinking positive feels like. Optimists think like this nearly all of the time but they do not realise that this is what they do.

You too can learn how to feel optimism, if you continue this exercise until you can do it without consciously thinking about.   For most people it takes about two weeks.

I wish you well and I wish you optimism.  I would love to hear about your results!

You can find out more about the Personal Development Mindset at this link

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach with an interest in management, leadership and in change – both personal (career and life out side of work) and within organizations. You can email her at wendymason@confidencecoach.me or ring ++44(0)2084610114 

Redundancy and layoff – emotions and what to expect!

English: rain clouds Looking out to sea at the...
When you are made redundant you may have to work your way through some very challenging and negative emotions. These can be disturbing and worrying for you and for those about you.  It helps if you, and they, know what to expect.
Shock and denial

Actually being made redundant comes as a shock.  Sometimes people simply refuse to believe it! Then they may go through a period when they deny what has happened.  They may have a conviction that somebody got something wrong and very shortly they will get a call back.

You may find yourself believing that the employer will change their mind. The reality is that it is very rare indeed for this to happen.  Good employers will have thought long and hard before announcing a redundancy and bad employers are very unlikely to want to admit they got it wrong.

Anger

After a while, you may become very angry.  This may be with your former employer but it might also be with your former colleagues – those who were lucky enough to stay! Why were you chosen and not them? The picture you paint in your mind of yourself and what happened can be far from the truth! Becoming consumed with anger is self-defeating and can be dangerous. If you, or someone near to you, can’t get passed this kind of anger, you may need to seek some outside help from a coach or counsellor and you may need to speak to your doctor.

Depression

It is usual to feel down when you have lost your job.  But after a while, this can turn into the darker emotion of depression.  Depression is an illness.  It goes with low self-esteem, loss of confidence and lack of energy.  You feel deeply miserable! You may not feel it is even worthwhile applying for another job, because no one is ever again going to want you.  Or you may apply for a job in a half-hearted way and then when you don’t get it that reinforces what you are already feeling.  So you can spiral down!

When this starts to happen it is best to get help. Depression is a serious condition and you should seek medical help if you feel it is becoming too much to handle.

Guilt and shame

It isn’t unusual to feel guilty when you have been made redundant.  You can feel it is your fault and that you have let yourself and your family down.  But in the present climate this is usually not true. Like you, lots of people who were very good at their work, are now unemployed.

It is painful even though it is not your fault.  But, you may feel shame and find yourself avoiding places and people that remind you of what has happened.  Sometimes people cover feelings of shame by behaving aggressively.

When you feel shame and guilt, sometimes it helps to stand back and think

  • Do I really believe someone thinks less of me as a result of this and would that be fair?
  • Would I think less of someone who had gone through an identical experience to the one I’ve had?
  • What advice would I give them, if they felt shame and guilt?

Relief
This is possibly the oddest emotion to list here.  But the reality is that you may feel relief that the uncertainty about being made redundant is over. The months before a redundancy is announced are often unpleasant and anxious – everyone is very uncertain.  Going to work has usually been stressful and now, at least, you are out from under the cloud!

Loss of confidence

Most of the emotions described above can undermine confidence and self belief.  You can begin to doubt yourself and your abilities. This in turn gets in the way of making a fresh start and finding a new job.

If you, yourself, are made redundant

Try not to be too proud to ask for and accept help.  It really can help to talk to someone else about how you are feeling.  As well as that, the best thing is to get into some practical tasks.  Don’t take a break before you begin your job search and, for example, CV updating.  Start as soon as possible.  Work with a buddy or a group if you can – there are lots around – search for one on the internet or ask in your local library or at the job centre.

Don’t let yourself feel isolated – these days, social media sites like Twitter and Facebook are great places to network and just to have a virtual chat.

If you are a relative or friend of someone made redundant or laid-off

It can be hard to know how to talk to someone who has been made redundant!  You don’t want to be too downbeat and add to the misery.  But if you are too upbeat, you can sound uncaring.  It is usually no good at all telling someone who has just been made redundant that this may turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to them, even if it’s true.  But it is important to be there for them!  Expect, and allow space for, them to go through a range of emotions.  Counsel them to seek outside help if you are worried.

Meanwhile If you have a question or just want to let off steam, by all mean feel free to drop me a line here.  I will do my very best to help.

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach.  She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career. You can email her at wendymason@confidencecoach.me or ring ++44(0)2084610114 

Some other great posts for you to read

Job Search and Motivation – when the motivation vampire strikes!
6 Tips for Confident Networking
Unemployed – Interview Techniques – Behavioural or Competency Based Interviewing 
 
 
 
 
 

What is management and will you be good at it?

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What would you like to build now?

A lot of words are written about management!  But it really isn’t that complicated. Management is getting things done by working through other people!

Management is not a science; although you will find a lot of useful management theory based on psychology and social science.  Put the word “management” into a search on Amazon and you will be amazed!

Management does mean responsibility but it can still be an adventure and it is often fun. In fact, I would say a good sense of humour is a basic requirement!

A manager is the person others look to when there is a job to be done!  If you do a good job of managing, others will get the job done well. If you don’t, they may just get there despite you, if they are a good team. But they may not and they will not like it!  But you remain responsible either way.

You are never perfect as a manager, no one ever is!  But you can learn to get better and better.  You can be an explorer as you set out to learn the way best to get things done through people, in lots of different situations.  You can try everything from managing in your local supermarket to leading a project to reach the stars!  You could discover a new cure for cancer – that rarely gets done without a form of management. Of course, you need to be a scientist as well for that one – but someone still has to manage!

Even with the best systems in the world, new situations require managers to be ingenious and creative! And the people you manage never stop being interesting and surprising.

If you are searching for the secrets of being a good manager, well, many of them lie locked inside you already.  Others you will learn from experience, through training, through reading and just watching and listening to those about you.

Do you have the characteristics of a good manager?

  1. Are you trustworthy and open in your approach?
  2. Do you listen well and communicate clearly?
  3. Are you fair and even-handed?
  4. Are you interested in other people and want to help them do well?
  5. Do you like getting the job done quickly but properly?
  6. Are you happy to share the task?

If you can say yes to those six questions then you are on your way!

Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach with an interest in management, leadership and in change – both personal (career and life out side of work) and within organizations. You can email her at this link or ring ++44(0)2084610114 

  • Leadership, the Lone Worker and Getting Things Done (wisewolftalking.com)
  • Leadership styles – are you the leader for all seasons?(wisewolftalking.com)
  • Leadership, the Lone Worker and Getting Things Done(wisewolftalking.com)

Team Work; forming, storming, norming, performing and adjourning with Dr Tuckman

Bruce Tuckman  is best known for a short article, ‘Developmental sequence in small groups’,  first published in 1965.

Never heard of him? Well, I expect you  have heard of his theory –  he wrote about Forming, Storming, Norming and Performing!

Now I love Dr Tuckman’s theory, so I was even happier when he added a  fifth stage (Adjourning) in the 1970s to cover the end-game in his explanation of how groups develop.

Dr Tuckman is now professor of Educational Psychology at the Ohio State University, where he is also Founding Director of the Walter E. Dennis Learning Center.  He has focused on motivation and he has gone on to look at how interventions such as goal setting, planning, and incentives affect behaviour. He has also written a novel The Long Road to Boston (1988).

The first four-stage model evolved out of his observations of group behaviour in a variety of settings and his encounter with the literature; including psychoanalytic studies of therapy or T-groups.

After completing his doctorate, Dr Tuckman worked with the industrial psychology lab at Princeton and went on to research small-group and organizational behaviour.  He was part of a small group of social psychologists in a think tank studying small group behaviour to help the US Navy prepare for modern vessels and stations with small crews.

He thought that if people could better understand how groups develop, it would be possible to improve group effectiveness and functioning.

This is how Dr Tuckman described the stages in his original article:

“Groups initially concern themselves with orientation accomplished primarily through testing. Such testing serves to identify the boundaries of both interpersonal and task behaviors. Coincident with testing in the interpersonal realm is the establishment of dependency relationships with leaders, other group members, or pre‑existing standards. It may be said that orientation, testing and dependence constitute the group process of forming.

The second point in the sequence is characterized by conflict and polarization around interpersonal issues, with concomitant emotional responding in the task sphere. These behaviors serve as resistance to group influence and task requirements and may be labeled as storming.

Resistance is overcome in the third stage in which in-group feeling and cohesiveness develop, new standards evolve, and new roles are adopted. In the task realm, intimate, personal opinions are expressed. Thus, we have the stage of norming.

Finally, the group attains the fourth and final stage in which interpersonal structure becomes the tool of task activities. Roles become flexible and functional, and group energy is channeled into the task. Structural issues have been resolved, and structure can now become supportive of task performance. This stage can be labeled as performing.” (Tuckman 1965 – page 78 in the 2001 reprint)

In 1977 Dr Tuckman proposed an update of the model (in collaboration with Mary Ann Jensen).  Later he commented: We reviewed 22 studies that had appeared since the original publication of the model and which we located by means of the Social Sciences Citation Index. These articles, one of which dubbed the stages the ‘Tuckman hypothesis’ tended to support the existence of the four stages but also suggested a fifth stage for which a perfect rhyme could not be found. We called it ‘adjourning’. (Tuckman 1984)

Adjourning involves dissolution. It entails the termination of roles, the completion of tasks and reduction of dependency (Forsyth 1990: 77).  This stage can be seen as ‘mourning’ – there has been a loss and this is often felt by former participants. This can be stressful – particularly where the dissolution is unplanned.  In project management, for example, managing this end game requires particular skills in the project manager if the work of the team is going to be fully valued.

There have been many debates around the Tuckman theory and the need for a model of group development.  But I fully believe the claim that small groups tend to follow a fairly predictable path. That has certainly been my experience but I’d be very interested to hear the views of others.

Wendy Smith is a career and life coach with depth of experience in career coaching, business coaching and personal development. She helps clients find a new career direction, start-up new businesses and achieve a better work/life balance. You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Other useful articles

  • Team Work; forming, storming, norming, performing and adjourning with Dr Tuckman
  • Team Work; Forming, Storming, Norming,Performing and Adjourning. Part 1 – Managing the Forming Stage
  • Team Work; Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing and Adjourning. Part 2 – Managing the Storming Stage
  • Team Work; Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing and Adjourning Part 3 – Managing the Norming Stage
  • Team Work; Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing and Adjourning. Part 4 – Managing the Performing Stage
  • Team Work; Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing and Adjourning. Part 5 – Managing the Adjourning Stage

Finding a Career that Fits

Electrician

Today we have a guest post written by Lincoln Group of Schools. They offer a variety of career training to those focused on finding a career path. Explore their range of offerings from electrician courses to HVAC training.

Finding a career that really fits who you are and what you love to do can be very challenging. It’s much easier to simply get a job that pays the bills and resign yourself to not enjoying your work every day. However, you can make a different choice. With a little thought and research, you can find a career that matches your personality and passion. When you enjoy your job each day, it may not even feel like work! Below are some steps you can take to find a career path that best matches you.

Believe that change can happen. The first step to getting out of a career rut is to truly believe that change is possible. While it may not be as easy or direct as ‘do what you love and the money will follow,’ there are career paths that are a good match for your talents, skills, and passions. It is worth the effort to find out what you love and to try to do that in your daily work. Life is too precious to waste simply working for the weekends and the paycheck. Believe that more is possible, and move toward it.

Know yourself. As the philosophers say, the first step to wisdom is understanding yourself. Take some time and think about the things that you truly enjoy. Think about when you were a child, and remember what you dreamed about being when you grew up. Many of our dreams get discarded as we get lost in the routine of daily life, but they can be retrieved. Take a piece of paper and brainstorm everything you think you would love to do. Don’t edit at this stage, just write it all down. This is the first step to finding out what’s inside your heart and what you truly enjoy.

After you’ve written down your dreams, take another piece of paper and write down all of your skills and qualifications. This may include formal education, or it may include skills you’ve gained in your home or work, such as organization, multi-tasking, or computer skills.

Match your passions to careers. There are many online surveys that will help you understand your interests and show you what careers work well with those tendencies. In addition, you can simply research the careers that occur to you as you review your dreams and desires from your brainstorming session. In the United States, a comprehensive list of careers and industries is available on the Bureau of Labor and Statistics website, in their Occupational Handbook.

Get further training if needed. While you may find that you have a lot of the skills needed for your new career, you are more likely to discover that you need additional education or training. Did that long-lost love of animals resurface, and now you’re considering being a veterinarian? Look for the best training program that meets your budget and lifestyle needs. Online training is increasingly available, but be sure that the training meets the standards of the companies that hire in that field.

Finding the career you truly love is not an easy task, but it is well worth the effort. It is possible to enjoy your work on a daily basis, and having a rewarding career is so much more important than simply bringing home a paycheck. Working in the field that fits you best will bring increased joy, satisfaction, and peace to your life – you’ll know that you really are doing what you were meant to do.

This post written by Lincoln Group of Schools. They offer a variety of career training to those focused on finding a career path. Explore their range of offerings from electrician courses to HVAC training.

10 simple ways to become a better leader starting now

Troy Lum is founder and president of Wired2Lead and a proud graduate of Bellevue University’s Master of Arts in Leadership program.  He works to develop leadership skills with businesses large and small. With support from his wife, he found the commitment, time, and cost of pursuing additional education opened new doors. At Bellevue University, he found a program that provided him with the tools and resources to work around his life.

His post on Make it Happen Now provides 10 invlauable tips on how to develop your leadershhip skills.

“Throughout my life, I have been inspiring individuals to become a voice in their community and create change.  While I believed my leadership skills were well tuned, I am a lifelong learner and wanted to expand my knowledge on leadership development. My problem was that I was newly married, welcomed my son into the world and started a new job.  No way was I going to have the time needed to go back to school.

This is where my thinking all changed.  I started to research graduate programs, learning toward an MBA because that is what I was told to get to work in the business community.  While conducting my research on graduate schools and programs, I discovered a school in Nebraska named Bellevue University that had an interesting degree in Leadership.

My degree opened my eyes to new and exciting leadership development skills.  I took these skills and started my own organization working with individuals to develop strong leadership skills.  My passion is to make positive change in the world by developing individuals to change their own community.

 Regardless of your aspirations, becoming a better leader is sure to pave the way.  To become a great leader, a person needs to utilize all the resources available to expand their knowledge.  Leadership lessons are all around us and can be learned from watching movies, reading books and from our peers. The following 10 steps will get you on your way for a successful career and fulfilling life… you can find the 10 steps at this link